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#12457 10/24/02 01:56 AM
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AlexM Offline OP
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Hi,

I remember in one of the PLC's that Paul Scheele said that one of the biggest obsticals that he has overcome was his fight with his "inner critic."

I too have this problem. In fact, the witness step in the natural brilliance model is the hardest one for me to accomplish. My therapist (i think) has been trying to get me to do this but from a different approach. He wants me to develop an "inner thearapist" or an "inner coach." I think that this is the same thing that Paul mentions when he says to take the role a consultant in the witness step, the thing about gremlins, and attempting to reach a "positive neutrality."

So I was wondering if Paul or someone else at L.S.C. could recomend 6 or 7 different books that could be very helpful in developing an inner coach or a "positive neutrality" for helping me with the witness step and gaining some perspective. Preferrably, I would like some books that would be ideal for Direct Learning.

I do realize that you all are problably very busy, but any books that you can recommend that could help me with this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your help,

Alex McClain






#12458 10/24/02 02:53 AM
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Taming Your Inner Gremlin is a super book for the inner critic. It's in Paul's bibliography. Very effective and very simple & very cool too.

check out half.com






#12459 10/24/02 06:50 AM
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Hi Alex,

Inner critics are fun to deal with. You know how? You turn them into allies!!

First off, realize that your inner critic has some positive intent in criticizing you. It's not just yanking your chain because it doesn't have anything better to do, it is trying to do something positive - you just might not like the _method_ that your critic is using to get the outcome.

Armed with that knowledge, it is much easier to approach your critic. Talk to it. Tell your critic you realize it is trying to do something good for you, thank it for it's concern and attention, then ask your critic what is it's positive intent in criticizing you. I think you'll be surprised at the answer and probably agree that it's goal is worthwhile.

Assuming that you agree with the critic's intent (if you don't, that is a whole other ball of wax), you can then start negotiating with it. Explain how the criticism makes you feel and ask something like, "If we could find a different way for you to achieve your positive intent, would you be willing to try it for a while to see if it works as well or better than what you are doing now?" Your critic will probably agree, because you are giving it the chance to accomplish it's purpose better than it is doing now.

After you have agreement, start brainstorming. How could your critic talk to you in a way that would be easier for you to listen to? Softer voice? Gentler tone? Maybe if it spoke from a different place? How about positive statements instead of negative?

As I said, turn your critic into your ally. Make it your partner in achieving the goal. It may take a little bit before your critic will talk to you. You have probably spent quite a bit of time telling that voice to shut up and that you don't like it, so it might be a little reluctant at first.

Good luck and have fun with it .
Mike






#12460 10/24/02 11:56 AM
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Some books worth having a look at might be those by Dale Carnegie, Napolean Hill - they both had a board of directors (internal). Triggers by Stanley Mann, A.C.S.W. has information on negotiating with the different parts of yourself. Silva uses lab assistant (internal advisors). Then in the metaphysics range there are some books related to gaining contact with your higher self.

What to say to yourself when you talk to yourself (not sure of Author) You can't afford the Luxury of a Negative thought (also not sure of author)I think these may be helpful for communcating with your inner self.

Alex






#12461 10/24/02 09:56 PM
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I've done two things that sort of worked. One was biulding an inner Paul. It's not as cultic as it sounds, and it sort of just happened from listening to paraliminals and natural brilliance over, and over, and over. The other thing I did was apply antinomialism. Nothing has any inherent meaning or value to me anymore. Because of this, I'm no longer "goal oriented."

It's like this: I dropped from 375 to 238 at my lowest. I was able to stick to the diet because I was a virgin, and I wanted to be sexier. What happened when I became involved in a long-term relationship was an oscilation, because suddenly I was made very aware that I was excluded from fast-food places, eating popcorn at movies, eating snacks at most parties, and although sharing my body with another was no longer a problem the ancient act of mamallian bonding - the sharing of food - suddenly became far more difficult. I also had to weigh "lunch money" (and on a low-carb diet, this can be a lot) against "relationship-money," as my primary value forced the oscilation again.

Now? I'm totally single again, and I'm back on the diet that caused me to drop the weight in the first place. But, there is no [/B]Lust For Desire[b]. I'm not doing it for sex, health, religious taboo, or to make anyone else happy. I'm doing to because the process of eating is pleasurable in and of itself.

There's no inner critic telling me what I should or shouldn't do because the inner critic has no leverage to convince me that what I'm doing or not doing is somehow a violation.

"The easiest way to deal with guilt is to never do anything that you're going to feel guilty about," -- Phil Jervis






#12462 12/31/03 05:24 AM
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What happened to Margaret and all her posts?....
looking
David






#12463 12/31/03 08:54 AM
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Are you running a search under the user name? I got 200 hits in photoreading alone. I do suggest that you run a seperate search under each forum header because of the 200 hit browser limit.

Alex







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