Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Balance: How can a person be successful, without sacrficing -

How can a person be successful without sacrificing relationships and self-development? As I find myself trying to achieve more, I find a lot of things being subtly replaced in my life by my value-producing pursuit.

I find it hard to imagine how Henry Ford built this huge empire, and still had a life, or how people that own several businesses and are always busy have lifes. It just seems impossible to me.

On a slightly similar note, I had taken on the belief that to win in the end(heaven) you had to lose now(service). I was wondering why I was so demotivated...everything I did was to be a loss to me. All relationships to me were either lose/lose , lose/win or win/lose. I have sinced programmed in a win/win belief, but I need to do more work on this principle.

Joey you might have also picked up a few beliefs on the way about the concept sacrifice. Program in some new beliefs that make you to always be a winner, and possibly some win/win beliefs too. I have some suspicion that you have picked up on the concept of sacrifice from the same domain as I have. Know that it's just your beliefs, and that you can change them.

After changing your ideas about sacrifice. Program in beliefs that you can have it all, and not lose out on anything. The external manifestation of this belief will need to be good time management. Steven Covey's books are a good start.

Work on your beliefs first though.
Kind Regards
Grant

I've programmed in the belief, "there is no hell where sinners roast, nor heaven with glory bright. Seize now this day, this hour, for no redeamer livith." It's kept me focused on the here and now, doing the best I can each day without worrying about some supernatural skymonkey judging my every action.

I suppose it's in the difference between working hard and working smart, Joey.

Also time management.

My father was a person who worked a great deal and succeeded at his job at the expense of relationships with himself, his wife, and his children ...

I think, perhaps, the secret to it is really knowing yourself and the people in your life. If having balance is truly important to you, I think you can achieve it over time. I don't see why not.

Recently I have been learning a great deal of things. I have been attending a school where the schedule and requirements are rigorous. You really have little time for many extra-curricular activities. So my life, by choice, is now pretty unbalanced. I don't have the social outlets I used to have and many forms of enjoyment have been replaced by work. It's given me a great opportunity to learn about balance and imbalance.

I sometimes just go with the flow and sometimes struggle to gain balance. It's touch and go, currently, but by being in this situation I am learning about my limits and about balance.

I think balance and success has to do with how you use your time. When do you do what and how well do you do it? How well can you switch gears? How completely can you commit yourself to a given task for a given amount of time? How well can you notice and respond to signals that it's time to switch?

I have a friend who told me about an ex of hers who was excellent at what he did at work. He had an amazing concentration, but he was always putting her to the side and always preoccupied with work. He did what he did extremely well, but wasn't a good mate. Why? Well, he wasn't totally clear about what was really important to him and how to manage his time and attention. I think it all boils down to how you use your consciousness in time.

I hope that helps. And, really, there's always an element of sacrifice involved. For as much as people like to believe we have unlimited resources, we are all only human and we have limits. How well you can live within those limits is the question, IMO, to answer. Sacrifice isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it makes us realize how valuable each part of our lives are.

I suggest having a look at the book First Things First it talks about doing that which is important an not getting caught up in busywork. Talks about the need to plan to maintain your relationships and self growth as goals of equal worth to success. Highlights the importance of doing the priorty stuff first and to recognise that the urgent stuff isn't always urgent and how to avoid everything becoming urgent so that you have no time left for the important stuff.

Alex

Actually, all this talk reminds me of exactly the basis for what I've deemed society's Work Hard Programming. Give this a quick read:
http://www.geocities.com/doc5587/articles/010.htm

-youngprer
geocities.com/doc5587
pub117.ezboard.com/btheworldofyoungprer

Hello I have to disagree with the person that said "we are only human, and have limits". The only limits we have, are the ones we impose on ourselves. If you believe that you can only jump so high, the highest you will ever jump is so high. If you belieave that you can jump higher the subconsious mind will find a way to make it possible. Yes, It will probabaly hard work, but instead of looking at it as a chore look at it as an adventure.

-Benny

My advice is slightly different or similar, depending on your view.

Firstly, you get results where you put your energy.

Secondly, you should be clear about what you really want, and what your priorities are.

Third, you should look for fulfillment in the journey, not the destination.

Those aren't just platitudes.

You are perfection.
Iam2

Benny,

I agree with you to an extent. There certainly are mentally imposed limits having to do with our expectations and conditioned behavior.

The story about Milton Erickson and the Army sharpshooters demonstrates this. Briefly, he found that if he gave sharpshooters amnesia for having just made a shot, they could shoot bullseye after bullseye because each believed he was taking his first shot ... and they all agreed they could certainly make a bullseye with their first shot ... 20 in a row, however, many found impossible ... until the amnesia.

There are, however, physical limits. For all the movement toward removing limitations as the big goal, I tend to like the idea of simply accepting and working within some limitations.

There's a short story called The Bound Man about a guy who is bound up and finds himself, through adapting to his new limits, able to do a variety of things impossible in his previous, free, state.

Limitations can be just as valuable as freedoms.

Take art, for instance. It is good to live within the limitations of traditional forms of art and develop in that system ... then, once you have the form and skills, breaking the rules intelligently if that is your desire.

As to what our true limits are ... well, who knows. Who really knows what is possible? I don't think a reason should stop you from doing something. That wasn't my intention.

I've programmed in the belief, "there is no hell where sinners roast, nor heaven with glory bright. Seize now this day, this hour, for no redeamer livith." It's kept me focused on the here and now, doing the best I can each day without worrying about some supernatural skymonkey judging my every action. (Quoted from Kaiden)

That's awesome. I could probaly realy relate to you and Grant on that subject of beliefs. I find myself having a hard time experiencing positive emotions, and enjoying things becuase of deep-rooted catholic beliefs that have kept me in the fear zone.

I would like to thank everyone for thier input. Success means a lot to me, and I will put all of your wisdom to use. These boards are like a master mind, it's great, having geniuses helping you at the touch of a button.