Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Gratitude

How can you be grateful if you don't look like Brad Pitt?
How can you be grateful if are not 6ft tall, abnormally short infact?
How can you be grateful if have a lot less than you want?

Sure you are asked to compare you self to people who are worse off than you, of whom there are plenty, but that just does not cut it. I am still too ****ed of that there are people better than me. Or life hasn't turned out the way I wanted.

Just breath, Just know, Just feel, thats all you have to do.

You are you.

Compare your self to your self. you are your best buddy, you are you, the one thats shines. cos you are you.

Look in the mirror, and that is you, you don't need to go look for yourself your right their, right now.

You just have to choose just how good you want to feel.

Ask yourself some questions, "Who are you trying to please." Do you love yourself? What is your ideal of beautifu? Images are distortions that make us compare ourselves to others. Remember, they are human beings, just havin more money. Take time out with you and reward yourself with positive words. peace

Lets say you're with Indiana Jones, going on an adventure with him. You're traveling down a narrow stone passage, cluttered and blocked with vegetation that has grown over countless years.

In front of you, you hear Indy yell the word "DUCK!" But before anyone can react, a blade swings out from one of the walls, cutting the person in front of you nearly in half, but only taking off the top of your hat.

Idie looks down at your mutual companion, shakes his head, then reaches down and hands you the top part of your hat and winks.

"Lucky for you, fella," he says, "that what wasn't given to you in dexterity was made up in shortness."

You laugh, and at least for the moment, are very grateful for your height.
...

Of course that is a hokey, fictional scenario. But the point is, being grateful or ungrateful often depends on the situation.

Few of us look like Brad Pitt, but do you really think Brad Pitt sometimes doesn't wish he looked differently ... for whatever reason? I bet he does.

Very attractive people are rarely 100% sure that people like them for them. People usually want them only for their looks. Unfortunately, many people who were too attracive their whole lives have distorted personalities, make horrible friends, and are torture to live with.

A very attractive person is used to getting his or her way. They probably feel they are better than everyone else. They feel entitled to things that are, really, unrealistic to expect.

I went out with an absolutely STUNNING woman for a number of months, and you know what? At the time >I< wasn't really sure what I was feeling and why. Her beauty was so overwhelming that I didn't know if I was in love or what was happening to me.

Do you think people like having people tell them "I don't know if I like you or your beauty?" Or knowing that people only want to be around you for how you look?

I agree that looking at people who have it worse than you is a kind of screwed up way to define your own worth. So don't do it.

Being self-absorbed and self-pitying, however, is no way to determine your self-worth either. Who wants to be around a whiny, bitter person who bemoans, "What about me? WHAT ABOUT ME?!"

So you've only got so much good looks, so much height, so much charm, etc. So what? Maybe you should change your focus from trying to make yourself look better to yourself and start finding out what you can do with what you got?

Let's just assume you are the way you are, however that is. How much does life have to offer someone like you? Certainly you are due your fair share of what life has to offer. Why not take it, enjoy it, and stop worrying about it?

Frankly, in certain ways I am grateful I don't look like Brad Pitt. Especially if he someday gets charged with murder. Wouldn't want to be mistaken for him. It would be nice, yeah, to be able to turn on and off stunningly good looks at will, but cest la vie.

If you need more, get more. But chances are, since you are complaining in this manner, that you are actually quite comfortable with what you have. Otherwise you would acquire more. When it is a matter of absolute need, people find a way and they don't bother with feelings of self-pity.

So, it would be nice, yes. But turn your energy elsewhere ... toward something that will really benefit you somehow.

Gratitude is being grateful for what you do have and taking the focus off what you don't have.

That Brad Pitt is good looking enough is just an opinion.

Abnormally short is just a statment of opinion.

Wanting is a way of life we all are short on what we want.

That other people are better than you is just an opinion.

Alex

Brad Pitt looks like crap to me.

Heartbeat(and yes I am a female.)

Hehehe.

I liked his performance in Fight Club ... which, strangely enough, has as one of its themes the notion that the status quo images of beauty are basically crapola.

[This message has been edited by babayada (edited October 23, 2004).]