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Joined: May 2001
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OP
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Joined: May 2001
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POLLY WANTS A WHAT?!
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired. They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have
some fun?'" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a
moment."You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked overand placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Wow of all the places you just had to post that one here?
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A woman goes into a pet shop for a new pet for her family. She sees this really beautiful green and red parrot for sale for 10 bucks. The woman asks why the parrot is so cheap? The pet shop salesman tells her the truth, that the parrot used to live in a wh*re house and has learned some really bad language. The woman says this doesn't matter as she will train him to say new words. The woman buys the parrot, takes him home and he is quiet to start with. Later, the woman's daughters come home from school and the parrot sees them and shouts out "NEW WH*RES!" After their initial shock, the mother and daughters see the funny side and laugh. Later, the grandmother visits and the parrot shouts out "NEW MADAM!". Again they are all shocked but see the funny side and laughed. Even later still the husband returns from work and the parrot sees him, and shouts out "NEW MADAM, NEW WH*RES, SAME CUSTOMERS, HI SAM!!!" [This message has been edited by chaosadelt (edited May 20, 2001).]
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There was once a man with a parrot. He was the conservative, religious type, and the trouble was that his parrot had the foulest mouth you ever did hear! It could swear for five minutes on end without repeating himself.
One day the man could stand the bird's profanity no longer and he grabs the bird by the throat and shouts "Quit it! I can't stand it any more!"
This just provokes the parrot and he swears even more. Furious, the man locks the parrot in the kitchen cupboard, but the parrot's constant clawing, scratching and squarking just drives the guy crazy so he lets it out.
The parrot lets out a stream od obscenities that would make even an old sea-dog blush.
More irate than ever, he flings the foul-mouthed parrot into the freezer and slams the door. The parrot bangs and swears and stamps about, but suddenly it falls silent inside the freezer. Worried that the parrot may have hurt himself, the man opens the door and to his amazement the parrot climbs placidly onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll try to improve my language from now on." The man is astounded! "By the way", says the parrot, "what did the chicken do?"
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 Hey! We want this to be a serious forum, and these jokes are really out of place. Are you all PARROT brains or what?
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quote:
Originally posted by GordonGT:
Hey! We want this to be a serious forum, and these jokes are really out of place. Are you all PARROT brains or what?
Lighten up, we have people talking about telepathy, telekinesis (these two arguably don't even exist thus could be called a waste of time), aikido, judo marschal arts, and other things that only remotely relate on this PR forum and you b*tch over some harmless and fun parrot jokes! Besides it is only taking up one post and would have been gone from the top if you had not brought it back up again.
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Yeah, lighten up! The problem with alot of you using the Photoreading System is that you "work" too hard at it! I went to the live seminar last year and we "played" all weekend. So bring on the jokes!
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Joined: Dec 2000
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quote:
Originally posted by chaosadelt:
Lighten up, we have people talking about telepathy, telekinesis (these two arguably don't even exist thus could be called a waste of time), aikido, judo marschal arts, and other things that only remotely relate on this PR forum and you b*tch over some harmless and fun parrot jokes! Besides it is only taking up one post and would have been gone from the top if you had not brought it back up again.
Actually, they do exist as i am able to perform telekinesis to some extent. And also, i'm not telling jokes because i'm trying to talk about something serious here, and get some intelligent answers out of people. Not telling jokes.
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quote:
Originally posted by Mike Kovacs:
Actually, they do exist as i am able to perform telekinesis to some extent. And also, i'm not telling jokes because i'm trying to talk about something serious here, and get some intelligent answers out of people. Not telling jokes.
Telekinesis has never been displayed authentically (uner controlled conditions) as far I as I ever read. It was only performed as tricks in a magic show or by scheisters using tricks.
I thought you were telling jokes with that telekinesis junk from before?
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Joined: Dec 2000
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quote:
Originally posted by chaosadelt:
Telekinesis has never been displayed authentically (uner controlled conditions) as far I as I ever read. It was only performed as tricks in a magic show or by scheisters using tricks.I thought you were telling jokes with that telekinesis junk from before?
!!!!!!! No joke! I'm serious.... try looking up for some pages on telekinesis on the internet, but when you do. If you do decide to give it a try, you have to give it a good HONEST try. It took me a full hour and a half of concentrating on my first object, a spoon until i got it to move, and since then, things have become slightly easier to move useing my mind. There is also some scientific proof on this matter but takes alot of research to find it on the net. I don't know where these pages were but they have some research also done in some universities. Whether you beleve in it or not is up to you. If you beleve you can do it, you will, if you don't beleve its possible to do it yourself, then its not!
[This message has been edited by Mike Kovacs (edited June 02, 2001).]
[This message has been edited by Mike Kovacs (edited June 02, 2001).]
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