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Joined: May 2001
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I vote for ANY Tony Robbins product. The man is amazing.

I've been to one of his seminars and it was life altering. Firewalking!!

Anyway, his books are great, especially "Awaken the Giant Within"

Tracey!






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I am older than you and I am still searching; I have yet to find my path.

I used to do "everything right" and was a success by eyes of the society. Then something went wrong; I could not follow their tune.

But even though I have used ages to finish my degree ( still working on it;just because ), have no idea if I can find a job I really like, have an awful, awful personal economy,and have yet to come together with my lifepartner; I Do Not Despair!

I will not let the world push me around and tell me what I *have* to do to be successful. I will not compromise with my integrity. I will not let my soul be squished into a box.

I know my lifeenergy will flow freely the day I just * know* what I have to do.
But I see that I probably have things to learn yet before I reach that point. The biggest lessons have come through those 5 years of floating around in the dark, questioning everything and doing nothing.

One Day, I finally understood that all I need is already inside of me. Granted, the struggle is till not over, but I now notice that the Only One who is putting limits on me is Myself.

So everyday I ask myself what I can do to take care of myself; feed my soul, so to speak.

Frankly, I would call myself a success now! Because I tuned into my inner voice and we are now on the same team.

Life is an adventure; and we all have different parts to play.


Laughing-heart






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I agree with LaughingHeart.

Don't call yourself a loser. You are judging yourself by others' standards. Why? You'll only ever be you.

OK let's look at the resume:
24 years old
Dude, I turned 30 on New Year's Day. Have you ever seen anyone get younger? Neither have I.

crap college degree
Dude, I never went to college. All I have is Grade 13. And I was considered smart in school. Sad thing is, I'm doing as well or better than many people who did go to college overall because I have no debts.

no direction
Are you sure about that? everyone has something they've always wanted to do but some people are so discouraged they tell themselves 'oh that'll never happen.'

few interests
You can multiply those by looking at the subcategories of each, then looking outside of them for related interests. It's no problem if you take the time. eg. you like girls? what type: blonds, redheads, baldheads, tall, skinny, fat, glasses, older, younger, etc.? become specific and you'll make moves in your chosen direction. And you might think that your interests aren't profound enough but you'd be surprised if you really knew how frivolous some of the most famous people's occupations really are.

floating around, no job, ive had 25 jobs.
You make do with what you have.The reality is that the job market is crowded and competitive. A lot of times doing your best at your job is the only reward you can count on, and sadly even that is rarely rewarded by employers.

live at home
Sometimes that's best. It's expensive out there. Make the best of the situation. Be disciplined in cooking and cleaning because that's what you need to do when you get your own place. Do the shopping, sit in on the tax preps, in other words be active in the running of your home if you can, and if you can't be an active participant. This is what you need to know to run your own home.

cant get job pushing carts anymore? do'h.
There are other jobs out there. Not all of them are better, many are far worse. But working beats the alternative (welfare) by a country mile, provided you have a direction. And even if you aren't working, look at it this way: you now have time to plan a direction, which is something everyone who works and hates their job wishes they had more of. Unlike money, time is not a renewable resource so value yours.

anyone save themselves from this condition? will the tangerine technique help? no.
If Tangerine Technique doesn't help, why not try ImageStreaming or LucidDreaming or Natural Brilliance or Swish Pattern or Six Hats Thinking or...see, there are lots of alternatives. Even Paul and Dana will tell you to explore other avenues if PR isn't for you because PR is simply one way of self-improvement and there are many others. You have to do what's best for you.

If you want to read a book about this, then I'd suggest avoiding Tony Robbins' books at first; they're very long. Try these instead:

Don't Tie Yourself Up In Nots by David P. Schloss (great for general advice, and very very short; you can slow read it in 80 minutes or PR it in like 3 and activate it in 10)

I Could Do Anything I Want If Only I Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher (for interests and direction)

Paula Nelson's Guide To Getting Rich by Paula Nelson (for financial success)

Then, if you're still interested, try

Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (it's a classic)

Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins (for NLP concepts and general positive thinking)

I know how hard it is because I've been there. At your age I was homeless. Good luck in getting yourself on track.

[This message has been edited by x (edited January 07, 2003).]






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Great insight, x. What I don't get is the part about interests. Let's say I like semi-athletic red-haired (straight and shiny hair, not curly and not the girls w/ freckles). How's that give me a direction in life?






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I donít think I can do anything KwLee. I have no talent. No purpose. No genius. This isnt a pity-party. This is my self-evaluation. Theres nothing wrong with calling yourself a loser, if its true. That doesnít mean ill always suck. I suck right now though, and I have the confidence to say that w/out reservation. Telling myself im great and wonderful wont sit right. I know im not. Not right now.

So how do I get to that point of being great? Well, thereís the problem. Goals are what Iím looking for. Paths that people have taken to get themselves out of misdirection. How do you do that? Where do you find goals? In myself? What if they arent there? From counselors? No. I get the usual clichť advice: keep working, hang in there, youll find it someday, its inside you. Huh? That doesnít help.

Fuzzy, you like where you are in school. Thatís great. I hope it continues, but school wasnít for me. If it were free, fine, id still go to go. Good luck with the kids. They give me a headache!

Laughing, your attitude seems what a person should have. If it works for you, great, but that attitude doesnít help me. The things learned in your years of aimlessly floating; did you learn anything other than to trust/believe in yourself? Why do you believe in yourself? What are your reasons? What are you good at?

Im most interested in what you have gone through X. what was it like being homeless? How did you get from there, to here, where I presume youre no longer homeless? What did you learn from being homeless? Where did you get food? Where did you find shelter? What climate did you live in (when/if im homeless I will not be in the north)? why were you homeless?

You were at rock bottom. Ill only learn what thatís like by hitting it myself, but anything you can tell me would be great.







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Whether you feel like a loser or not, you are still a person, worth something more than nature and animals because you are made in the image of the infinite personal God. I do not mean the word "god", but a real Being, a personal infinite Being who really created the world, including people.

He created people in His image and they are personal. But right now you are abnormal. That is, this real God who really exists created you in a different way. And you brought about this change because you really sinned and mankind fell--people are abnormal.

I am not going to say that you are perfect and have all the answers because you are not perfect and don't have all the answers. You are finite and personal and fallen.

The one place that has the answers is the Holy Bible.






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Hey Ploppsdman,

I think you might be missing the point in which everyone is trying to give you...

Which is there is a way to get better...for one person its one way, for another its something else...

but the one thing you have to do....is mentally want to make your life better...

To me it doesnt seem that you want to do that, it seems like your just waiting for life to change the way you live...like winning the lottery or something.

The way you refer to yourself as a loser and accepting that as who you are is the real problem...you dont have to hit bottom to pick yourself up...isnt that going in completely the opposite direction?

And what if you do hit what you consider to be rock bottom...will you really be able to change your life around then?

Everyone here has given you advice...They gave it because they dont think your a loser (even though we dont know what you go through everyday), but because we believe your someone looking for help, because you do at least value your life, and its quality.

Is it really that hard to believe that with 6 billion people in the world...that one person has gone from less than you and turned there life around....for that matter...is that hard to believe that 100, 1,000 or even 1,000,000 or more have done the same. so why cant you be one of them.

The reason why I told you to read that book...(there are other types of books and things to do out there), partly is because it helped me....but more importantly because it taught me...that you cant change your life until you change the way you think.

good luck.








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Lost my hearing
Went to counselling - counsellors kicked me out telling "I don't know how to help you". They were supposed to help me handle my job. It's been a difficult task developing a career goal when everyone thinks because your deaf you lost your brains.

It's an interesting experience to be told wow we like your work but we are giving the job to someone with less talent than you because we don't know how to deal with your deafness.

I stand there in amazement thinking hang on I'm deaf that's for me to deal with not you. You just give me the job and I do it. So I say to them,"here I am sitting and communicating with you with no problems, you see my portfolio shows that I can do it?" "No, I can't risk it."

Lost my job. Unemployed 5 years now

To my horror I was put on disability rather than assigned an employment counsellor.

The disability pension is 50% below the poverty line. I am not permitted to touch my superannuation till I reach retirement age 25+ years away. It's losing money anyway and I figure in about 7 years they'll start billing me (its a government scheme)

Developed a relationship that ended with "I'm sorry I can't handle your hearing impairment I've decided to try and develop another relationship"

I lost my home which I had fully paid off.

Today I spoke to my father for the 1st time in 18 months he's been trying to contact me for the last 5 weeks. Last time I spoke to him he informed me that I am a "useless human being" amongst some other things that I don't care to recall.

Today his advise to me was "Don't bother looking for a job... you won't get one anyway".

I live on my own, unless I wear my hearing aids the world is quiet.

Am I loser? If I listen to my father, yes.

To me personally, no. My answer is it makes no difference - it's just an opinion and opinions can change. Even the opinon I have of myself is a choice.

Consider this.

To Laugh is to Risk appearing a fool - Laugh anyway.
To Weep is to appear sentimental - weep anyway.
To Reach out for another is to Risk involvement - Get involved anyway.
To Expose your feelings is to Risk exposing your true self - Be Vulnerable anyway.
To Place your Dreams before a crowd is to Risk their loss - Present them anyway.
To Love is to Risk not being loved in return - Love anyway.
To Hope is to Risk despair - Hope anyway.
To Try is to Risk failure - Try anyway.
To Live is to Risk dying - Live anyway.

The Person who will Risks Nothing; does Nothing; has Nothing IS Nothing.
Only a person who will Risk will become truely free.
- Patrick Mc Bae

I know that there is nothing in this post that is an answer to your problem.

I keep doing whatever I do and just keep going. I accept responsiblity for my deafness, I am not waiting around for someone to save me because I don't need saving. I know there are things I could be doing better. The fact of the matter is that the only person that you can really count on when everything around you is stuffed up is yourself. Often it feels like you're picking yourself up by the bootstraps.

You've got to be your own best friend. To that end you start letting yourself hear what you would like to hear 'your friend' telling you. 'Hey you're ok you know.' When you say to your friend, 'I don't know' you will want hear 'Yeah, but maybe we can find out?'. Or you say, 'I can't' your friend would probably say, 'well, maybe not yet, but we could learn.'

In all forget goals, worries and that... get the Self Esteem Supercharger from LSC. Use that everyday for a couple of weeks and see what you want from life then.

Good luck
Alex







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There won't be any prepackaged solutions to what you are trying to find. It sound like you just don't know what you want to do.

My friend in his late twenties was living with his parents. Complete, utter, loser who did nothing with his life. His parents got sick of it and tossed his bum ass out. He had to live in his van..... even had to clean himself and his change of clothes daily in a local river. finally got some minimum wage job and started going to a community college and after three year (was not full time student), graduated last year with math/computer degree and started off with a mid 20K job a year.... not super successful but better than where he was..... and his story will probably continue into the future....

Two points.... one, that was a success story, he achieve autonomy, self-reliance, and is in a better position now.

Two, he was not motivated to do anything before, like you. When he got kicked out, he learned, 'necessity is the mother of invention' so to speak, he made his own motivation.....

So the best advice I can give is to go out and make your own motivation or you will keep getting whatever scraps life sends your way.... that's all there is to it....

I know it's nothing major, but life's full of simple truths.






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Ha, that reminds me of the "van down by the river" skit from SNL. I think it takes a crappy event (crappening?) to get lazy people motivated. Clearly your friend's homelessness was a greatly beneficial awakening. It's weird how some people can work hard for almost no reason, while others wait until they understand the consequences of inaction. Personally I think the latter makes more sense, and it bugs me to see people busy themselves with dumb things without considering how it'll benefit them. Your homeless friend directly benefitted from getting a job and going to college. Here we are, ploppsdman and I, living at home, safe and well fed. Nothing in the immediate future matters because we'll still have food and shelter--it's a horrible cycle of procrastination. I'm taking the GED exam next weekend so I can get a decent part-time job and buy myself an iPod or something (whatever gets me motivated, right).






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