Hmmm, I'm all about self-change. However, I go from Archetype to type.
This is going to get a little occult, so please forgive me for stepping on anyone's beliefs. When I discovered that astrology could give accurate character analysis, I fell in love. I knew I wanted to love, and to be loved by, a Capricorn woman. (Now is the time where every Capricorn woman reading this goes "why?"). So, I spent a great deal of time trying to make myself attractive to the archetype. (Although not enough time, in my opinion).
The problem with the whole "real you" thing is that a person is a verb, not a noun. An individual is defined more by his actions and his memories than by his atoms. After all, our cells are completely replaced every seven years or so. Manifest your highest good. In my case, I know my highest good is to be the ideal husband - it is a genuine Spiritual Calling.
On one hand, I am trying to tell you to [b]keep on Becoming[/b}. Your process-of-becoming (Xeper) is what makes you the "real you." On the other hand, your Xepher might be misspent at this particular woman. I do not know, and I refuse to even hazard a judgement.
I agree. Know your calling. Manifest highest good. Live on purpose. Then no need to worry about real self or if a particular person will find you. The right person(s) will be attracted to you and find you. Release, Notice, Respond, Witness.
Hmm... there could maybe be many explanations to why she was not at you're picnic. Had she said why? Why not go ask her?? Make some action.. find out something. Cut right into the bone! I would have done that to find out how a person was (and also be aware of not hurting her by doing that).
Find out how she is. Also check her selfesteem.
If she is closed, and just says "don't know", then I would not trust that woman, because she is not as open, as you. (Also for your own protection). And there might be a reason for this. Maybe she is afraid of commitment, get hurt (be open), because some other guy in her past really really hurt her.
For many women one very important thing is, that they have to feel good about being together with a man (a tip here: Be open). And a man should really fascinate a woman in some way. So if a man is like a famous tennisplayer, actor, or something different, like not "normal", then you have quite good chances of choosing the woman you want. Men like that are men, who knows what they want. They have self-esteem, knowing what they want. Dooing goood ..
So what's special about you? What about you can fascinate a woman do you think? And most important of ALL is: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Like sex, same interests, anything you think is important. Maybe it's special in sex! Or in love somehow. Like an open relaionship.. Know what you REALLY REALLY want in a relationship. What things must be in a relationship before you want one.
What about your girl, who you really want. What is it about her that fascinates you, since you want her so much. Try to put some words on that. Is it the way she is, her qualities on life, her money*g*, that she wants commitment in life, attractions (like sex, eyescolour)? Find the main top 3 things you think it's why you fall for her.
This is my opinion now: If you don't get to kissed by a girl before 3 months have passed, then dump her. Hehe.. Then it's getting too difficult I think, and love should not come after such a long time. Some people actually get married, pragnant and moving in to the same house before the first 3 weeks have passed*g*..
So instead of keeping getting that girl, release.. and notice in what other ways you can get a girl like that, who has these top 3 qualities, which are important to you in a ralationship. Go on dating!! Have some fun, and on the same time, self-esteem . Not ignore the girl you are in love with, still try to get her to know better. What she thinks of you etc., how she is.
Beaware of women with low selfesteem!! They can be a pain in the ass! I talk from experience!! . They psycologically drain you from energies. And that's on an unconscious level also. They really want men who are careful to her. (Because they don't get so much love from them selves - they have low self esteem). So they often lie about how they are in the first place, like sex, how happy they are etc. (because they don't think, they are so much worth). Some good questions to ask her is: "What do you think about yourself? Do you really like yourself?". Find out if she has high self esteem on most areas of her life..
What about being atracted to each other? There people really differs I think. Some women like fat men, others like slim men, others greeneyed men etc. The chemistry also have to be there I think..
Anyway... Many people say, real love is something you not should search for, because real love will come to you. And others say, if you want something, you have to search for it, pray for it etc.. And quite many get really happy on a lifetime when finding each others on dates..
I saw her again tonight and told her that I wish she could have been at the picnic last week. She just said "thank you." I've been using the Self-Esteem Supercharger and Relationship tapes, but it's at a point where just seeing her depresses me.
IN THE FLOW: Top 3 things?
1) We have similar life goals and we both enjoy music. She's sooooo talented. I've compared her to Christina Aguilara. 2) She's just so darned sweet. 3) She has that intangible "certain something" that sets her apart from all the others... and yes I'm definitely physically attracted to her. She might not win any beauty contests or make it in the pages of Playboy, but she's a winner in my book. 4) She's a great mom. She takes good care of her daughter and takes care of herself, by standing up to life's struggles.
You have a lot of good suggestions. I wish I could get to the point where I could just let it go as you suggest. That's been the sticking point. I would like to either be able to move to the next level or just get to the point where I can forget about her. So far, both have been elusive for me. You mentioned Release, so I'm sure you're referring to Natural Brilliance. I just ordered it, so maybe it will help.
KAIDEN: You seem to have been really focused on your goals. Both knowing what you wanted and how to get there. Now that I've ordered Natural Brilliance, I was wondering what statements you used since you said that NB was good for "relationship procurement and development". Additionally, if Xeper is the process of becoming, what is Xepher?
HEL: Socrates said "know thyself". I know who I am, but getting others to know is what I'm after.
I've tried everything I know to do, and yes that includes pheremones and Scent of Eros. I've noticed that some people are friendlier with SOE, but no luck with any of the others I've tried. It doesn't seem to have any effect on the intended recipient.
You really got to ask yourself... isn't it about time you freed yourself and found someone equally special as her but wanting you. If you come across in person 1/2 as desperate as you seem here it's no wonder she keeps you at arms lenght. You also stated that she likes the same things as you etc... well maybe shes looking for contrast... not an echo of herself. I only think you should look at the above site to see what you are doing that might be turning her off so you can at least stop doing that. If you win her by manipulation you'll pay for it... what goes around comes around.
I can only say if she causes you so much pain now... thats nothing to what she can do if she became your lover do you really want to give your power over?.
[quote]Additionally, if Xeper is the process of becoming, what is Xepher?[quote]
Unfortunately, a typo. I believe both are valid transliterations of the Egyptian term. The X is an almost-but-not-quite "K" and the P or PH is an almost-but-not-quite "Really Hard F" sound.
Hey, if you ever need serious mojo here, then try "The Secret Science at Work" by Max Freedom Long. The upside is that you'll be bypassing the normal chanels of communication and doing Theurgy ("Miracle Working"). The downside is that you'll be making a decision for someone else, and that may be counter productive to your own relationship values. Book's about $16, but you might be able to get it at the library. It's been in print since the early 30's or so.
Kaiden Theurgy? Did you use anything like this in your relationship? I read the sample pages on Amazon.com and it sounds like a dark spiritual path. Entering into the domain of the spiritual realm as the sample pages suggest is something I prefer not to approach.