Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Wannabe

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Originally posted by AlexK:
Change your focus. You know the anology of the racing car driver having to look where he wants to go and not the wall, for if he keeps focusing on the wall he will surely hit it because his eye mind connection can't see any other direction?

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Yes, I know the exquisite danger of self-fulfilling prophecy, which only made things worse. I realized today after I basically told my low-self to shut up that my low-self was trying to tell me not to be complacent. He/I was just going about it the wrong way. (I've been studying Huna, and it's improved my memory if nothing else).

Because I haven't been spending much time alone, I haven't listened to the Natural Brilliance generator, nor reviewed the course to remove other stuck-states. I've experienced some regression. A simple cycle of Release/Notice/Respond/Witness would be a lot better than Worry/Doubt/Fret/Panic.

Don't make excuses just do it!

Alex
PS there's no point in fighting with yourself cause 'you' always win

so...
Release, Release, Release and then release again. For added 'feel good' measure pop in a paraliminal before you go to bed... if you use one where Pete brings you to fully alert state... take off the headphones and say 'g'nite Pete' before he counts you out... afterall as he says on his tapes "you are in control".

Be True
Alex

If you have it, listen to the Belief tape. One listening to side A will neutralize any self-defeating or limiting belief you identify. You can choose to free yourself from your belief. Side B will install a new, positive, and self-enhancing belief and put you back on solid ground. Of course there will be times when you start to bring up the old beliefs again, and when this happens, then you can listen again to side A. I've found this to be a very powerful tape.

Good luck!

Here's my take.
You are not scared of him or miserable because you compare yourself to him and he seems to you more impressiive. You can compare yourself to many other impressive people and that doesn't scare you nor make you miserable, right? The fear is there because you think she does what you do, compare you to him and find him more impressive.

If it'd ever entered her mind to do this, she had already done it and had decided you're the one for her.

She probably mentions him in front of you because in her mind, he's just not thought of as a possible contender to you. She mentions him like she would talk to you about any other of her (neutral/girl) friends.

One day, when you are ready, you might mention this 'perceived' threat to her and you two can have a good laugh together.

[This message has been edited by Hel (edited May 08, 2002).]

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Originally posted by Hel:
If it'd ever entered her mind to do this, she had already done it and had decided you're the one for her.

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Actually, yes. She's told me in as much. She has a natural sensitivity to when there's something that I want to tell her, but don't want to tell her. (On the first day we met, she said "there's something you want to say... what is it?" I just looked at her in stark terror, said "I love you" and ran out of the room).

You are soooo sweet, Kaiden.

For the sake of context, I said "She's going to Kentucky to spend the weekend with him, camping, in a cave. She'll be sleeping curled next to each other."

But, yeah, I worry to much and make drama out of nothing. I've been busy moving (which is why I wasn't going along, even though I've been invited), and have been sleeping less and less as the amount of packing I need to do stays rather steady compared to the time I have to do it in. I've been keeping myself awake through caffien and ephidrine, which seem to be having a synergetic reaction with the ginkgo I've been taking. In other words, I'm not controlling my emotions the way I ought to be.

[This message has been edited by Kaiden (edited May 16, 2002).]

Ouch.

I know how I felt when a similar thing happened to me. I knew...

All I can say is hang in there... nothing anyone can say can really help. You have a lot of tools and resources under your belt... use them to the best of your ability.

Alex

Kaiden, I know you hate my guts because I'm a car salesman and you want to avoid me at all costs, but....

My experience with women tells me that whenever I expressed any insecurity, neediness, too worried about "the other guy" by asking all kinds of questions after she was with him (like camping on the cave)

proved to be fatal to all those past relationships.

I would suggest to you (if you could take the advice of a low life car salesman)

to ask her how her trip was, get excited when she talks about things she liked, and when she mentions HIM...

act like she is talking about some hairy legged east german shot-putting woman.

Trust me man, show any concern about the DUDE and you will lose points in her eyes.

I know it sucks. Believe me when I say I wish it weren't that way, but it is.

May the Force be with you.

George

Hmmm. You said that he has the potential of robbing you of the love of your life. Of course you would be concerned if she's going to be spending the night with him. Any normal person would be.

No answers, just lots of questions....

1) Can you trust her?

2) Even better, can she trust herself?

3) I don't remember reading it in the post, but were there any romantic inclinations between them in her past?

4) Can your relationship with her survive the weekend?

Even if you pretend everything's ok as Huttog suggests, in YOUR mind you will always wonder what really happened while they were together.

I don't pretend to understand the female psyche, but I do know they have a way of manipulating a situation so it ends up being the guy's fault. If you say something about it, then she says you're insecure, but if you don't say anything, then she says you don't really care about her. It's the darned if you do, darned if you don't dilemma. (Hmmm. Kind of sounds like a paradoxical oscillation doesn't it?)

If she's as intuitive as you say, then she must know that you're uncomfortable with the mere mention of him. And if she knows you're uncomfortable, then she's disrespecting you every time she does it. Have you considered the possibility that by bringing him up in conversation that she might just be testing you? And by going to spend the weekend with him it's an even bigger test?

If the roles were reversed, do you think she would let you go alone to sleep in a cave with another woman? No way! Most women would threaten to end the relationship at the mere thought of it.

Maybe you can do something right before her trip that will etch YOU in her mind so if she even considers anything with this guy, she'll think of you first. A really memorable evening perhaps? I don't know exactly how you would go about it, but as an example, to get children to self-monitor, I get them to volunteer to give me something they consider important in the event they they should misbehave. That way if they even think about doing something wrong, they have to consider the loss of something they really enjoy first.

One final question. If the two of you are in a relationship, and it's supposed to be just a casual friendship with this other guy, then why aren't you going with her? Going camping in a cave sounds like fun, so maybe you should go too! Not to play bodyguard, but because the trip sounds like a good time and you want to do fun things with her. Not only that, it would allow you to finally meet him. It's the perfect opportunity. He could see that she loves you and once you get to know him you might not be so threatened by him. You might even become friends!

At the very least, hopefully you can agree to full disclosure for the weekend. If she comes back and appears distant or obfuscates, only then is it really time to be concerned.

[This message has been edited by Glenwood (edited May 16, 2002).]