Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4
Thanks for the extra suggestions Jeanne and msbeth20!

I have started a new thread in the Forum for Tips & Tricks for Getting and Staying Happy. Please feel free to post your a recap on your tips and tricks there or any other new ones that you may have to share with all of us.

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4
Anyone still participating?

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 13
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 13
kimh-
I am still here. I don't know if the others are still checking in on the discussions or not. I see Alex stays on top of things here, and will have some good insights to add. If you want to continue to go on with the exercises, we can forge on. I will have to figure out how to add new threads. Three months ago, I was ready to sit back in my rocking chair and wait for grandkids. I knew how to read and write mail, do searches and buy stuff on the internet. Now, I am posting entries in a forum, I was on a teleconference, I figured out how to scan pictures and attach to e-mails. I've read several books for my own growth. Some huge insights came with A New Earth by Eckart Tolle. (Thanks takinitslo for the nudge.) I'm even thinking about taking a class to learn how to play steel drums. My sister and I have a saying when we want to tackle something new..."How hard can it be?"... And then we dive right in. I guess that rocking chair will have to gather a little more dust.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,089
Likes: 1
Learning Strategies Admin
Member
Offline
Learning Strategies Admin
Member

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,089
Likes: 1
kimh,

Well done. I see I have a task I need to take care of. For now to start a new thread or topic click on the down pointing arrow that says "Topic option" at the top of the page. And there is a link for a new topic.

AlexK

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 13
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 13
Thanks Alex.

I posted a new thread with the second exercise from Chapter 1, titled HFNR1 - Look for the Lesson and the Gift.

That wasn't hard at all!

Beth

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
Hi. I just read the response by msbeth20 and it was so moving.
The situation that I am having trouble with is making friends. I'm in my second year of college. This last summer I read Happy For No Reason and loved it. It changed my life. Now I'm in school again and though some things have changed, I'm still not as close with my peers as I would like to be.
I would rate my satisfaction level right now as a 2. I've been reaching out to people. I've been working through a lot of my own issues and practiced forgiving friends of mine that hurt me in the past. I've been trying to open up more and I've been sending loving kindness (or trying to) when someone is mean or being exclusive.
Although I've been practicing all of these things, I'm not satisfied with the situation. I've tried letting go and surrendering to the universe. But it seems like everyone else in my group of friends have closer relationships with each other than with me.
What would improve my satisfaction greatly is if I had one or two (or more) friends who liked me best or specifically wanted to hang out with me. I think it's been very discouraging to feel like no one likes me best.
I'm posting this with the hope that someone can help guide me with this problem. I've had great friendships in the past so I know it's possible, but right now I don't know how to get where I want to be.
How does one gain true friends?

Joined: May 2005
Posts: 539
Member
Offline
Member

Joined: May 2005
Posts: 539
If you smile to most people, they will be inclined to smile back. If you can attact lot of people in your life, then you can easily find out who can become good friends (like common interests, etc) and who can't. Of course, some people of the opposite sex may find your smile like a way of flirting. So, early in the friendship, you need to decide, whether a possible romance with a certain person is what you want from him/her. I believe that slowly you will be able to attract the people who make the types of friends you like to have.

Good luck!

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,089
Likes: 1
Learning Strategies Admin
Member
Offline
Learning Strategies Admin
Member

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,089
Likes: 1
One of the ways to gain true friends is to give of yourself. Sometimes just being there and laughing at their jokes brings a smile to their face.

If you're looking for what you can get out of friendship I think you're looking at it the wrong way. You don't feel like you have a friend until you start giving them a hand. Being the one who helps them move their stuff. Picks up their book because you happen to be going that way anyway. Those sort of favours. Then not measure when they come back to you. You might have to do this often enough for a few people till you find the ones who balance out the score for you and those you will call your friends.

Being Happy For No Reason is being happy in what you do. That means not putting yourself out just to win friends but doing what makes you happy. Looking or opportunities where you can truthfully say, "happy to help" with a smile. That's scores you friends.

AlexK

Joined: May 2005
Posts: 539
Member
Offline
Member

Joined: May 2005
Posts: 539
I landed on my face being exploited by trying to be nice and helpful to a person I cared about. I believe she was a very hurt person who had a narrow focus. Maybe your suggestion works on large numbers.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,089
Likes: 1
Learning Strategies Admin
Member
Offline
Learning Strategies Admin
Member

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,089
Likes: 1
 Quote:
That means not putting yourself out just to win friends but doing what makes you happy.


I have had similar experiences, not that I considered myself exploited, though others tell me I was. Quite recently in fact.

I remember it was my choice to be generous and if they were just using me then they have a problem not me. Naturally I cease being there for them since it doesn't serve anyone for me to allow myself to be used. It's a matter testing the water since we don't know how comfortable we will be in the friendship. Yes there will be people who just use others generosity but we all eventually find our real friends.

In being generous and doing small favours I'm being kind to myself because that's the kind of person I like being. There will be times my generosity lands with someone who might not have earned or deserved it. Then again who's to say? In the scheme of things it's all good. If I don't feel right about it I stop. It's a friendship or relationship I sort but wasn't meant to be.

So yes it does work with large numbers. You only do it as long as you're happy doing it.

AlexK

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

Link Copied to Clipboard
©, Learning Strategies Corporation, All Rights Reserved
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5
(Release build 20201027)
Responsive Width:

PHP: 5.6.40 Page Time: 0.076s Queries: 35 (0.017s) Memory: 3.2430 MB (Peak: 3.5999 MB) Data Comp: Off Server Time: 2024-02-23 13:43:10 UTC
Valid HTML 5 and Valid CSS