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Help.. I'm stuck #73492
08/23/09 09:56 PM
08/23/09 09:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 14
Spokane, WA
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Sheryll Offline OP
Junior Member
Sheryll  Offline OP
Junior Member
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 14
Spokane, WA
I have been listening to Jeddah's CDs (both paradigm and freedom series) for over 6 months. I am now becoming very aware or how fearful I am of real freedom. The piece I get stuck on is the TRUTH that I can no longer hide from.... I am totally responsible for all in my life and there are millions of choices. Sometimes I feel freed from a cage and the next minute I realize that while I am flying around, that I have a life to live. I have always been a "responsible" person and have much resentment of being "my brother's keeper".

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place, free at last and connected to all... and yet even more burdened by the sense of responsibility and ethics. I have been used and abused throughout my life. I trust no one but myself or others with similar values (like Jeddah). I know I am not alone... but I feel very lonely. I am afraid that I will stay stuck here hoarding my new found freedom. I feel connected to ALL and yet still isolated. I know and accept that everyone is walking their own path, but truly long for a spiritual and physical companion. I long for an intimate connection: this is a desire I cannot shake. Although my mind is very open, my heart is not. I have been burned by believing the lies of others. Does being true to myself mean I will live a life without a deep connection to a special other? Maybe I should become a Christian and go to church (Ha!) It is hard to live Christian ethics...which are Jeddah's teachings, and not be a follower. Any insights would be welcomed.

Thanks for listening,
Sheryll


Imagine all the people...
Re: Help.. I'm stuck [Re: Sheryll] #73659
09/15/09 10:42 AM
09/15/09 10:42 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 26
Southern California
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Johnp157 Offline
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Johnp157  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 26
Southern California
Hi, I ordered and reviewed the 'Seeds of Enlightenment' course. It was OK, however, I had a lot of trouble attempting to understand what Jeddah is conveying. It's true, every individual is totally responsible for his or her life completely, I know I am and I can live with it. And, I am very grateful to have it.

Re: Help.. I'm stuck [Re: Johnp157] #73743
09/23/09 05:17 PM
09/23/09 05:17 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 241
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Wendy_Greer Offline

Learning Strategies
Wendy_Greer  Offline

Learning Strategies
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 241
Hello Sheryll!

Many apologies for this tardy response. I didn't realize this forum was up and running!

I understand exactly what you are referencing when you speak about being 100% responsible for yourself, but also being a caretaker and sometimes resenting it because you feel so responsible for other people's wellbeing. One of the big insights for me was realizing that I am 100 % responsible for my own responses and reactions to people and I have a choice about how much caretaking I choose to do. When I see responsibility that way, I also recognize that sometimes my intervention is definitely not in the best interests of others’ growth. Part of being truly “responsible,” in the bigger sense, is recognizing and respecting the fact that other people have their own life path and some of what they do may not match our ideal vision of how things should go.

As we continue to allow people the freedom to fulfill their learning process, we are freed to continue ours. You are right that this freedom is so expansive it sometimes seems scary, but the more we stay in that expanded place, the more comfortable it becomes. Being true to yourself is the ultimate way to remember and radiate your true light and that will become a beacon to others. While some relationships will fall away as you step into that remembering, those that replace them will be the truly deep and special ones. The path you are on will lead you there. If you need help remembering this, Learning Strategies is here to assist!

One last reminder from Jeddah – “We are all light expanding without end. SPARKLE ON!”

With love,
Wendy

Re: Help.. I'm stuck [Re: Wendy_Greer] #73747
09/24/09 12:51 AM
09/24/09 12:51 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 14
Spokane, WA
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Sheryll Offline OP
Junior Member
Sheryll  Offline OP
Junior Member
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 14
Spokane, WA
Thanks Wendy!

I am working to stay on course. I felt so supported by your words. I think I have spent so much of my life "fixing" myself and others, that I am kind of lost without all my "useful" tools! Sometimes I am afraid to "quit" because I will just sit in this beautiful peace. Some days are exquisite and others are difficult. I listen to Jeddah's self-acceptance meditation over and over again. What an odd concept... loving myself!


Imagine all the people...
Re: Help.. I'm stuck [Re: Sheryll] #74428
12/03/09 12:13 PM
12/03/09 12:13 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7
australia
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jakalyn Offline
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jakalyn  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7
australia
Dear Sheryll,
It sounds as though you are a prisoner of your own thoughts and continually manifesting fear...expectations of future pain. Experience yourself as a divine being, don't ever forget that you are sacred and divine, and that all pairs of opposites (love/hate, good/not good, desireable/repellent etc) are just thoughts produced by (your own) mind. Strive to observe your thoughts, but not to prefer this or that, just observe what is. And take note of your own reaction to what you observe...when you feel fear or confusion take note of what you are feeling physically, where in your body you feel tightness or imbalance, watch yourself react. Do the same when you feel joy, and by cultivating this type of conscious awareness the negative power will be diminished , and in recognising it happening your own positivity, power and control will increase. When you become the observer of your thoughts rather than the victim of them amazing things start to happen. Who IS the thinker of the thought?
The great spiritual traditions teach seekers to rest their minds in love, compassion, tolerance and forgiveness, and to calm the mental chatter of the 'little ego mind' in order to perceive the truth. We cannot experience the bliss of divine reality until we can establish our mind in calmness and serenity. No one else can do this for you.
Sometimes we need to seek out the company of like minded individuals to support us when the going gets tough, to feel a part of a community , but in the end the way to spiritual enlightenment is to empty the mind of 'stuff', not put more stuff in, and only when all of the 'isms' and 'ologies' and dogma's and doctrines are laid quietly to rest will the light of truth and love and blissful serenity flood into concsiousness, establishing unity, removing separation and dissolving all fear. When you recognise yourself and what you really are, that you are everything that is, there is nothing outside of you, then there is nothing outside of yourself to fear.
Try to focus on what you DO want,(love,companionship,trust etc) and not what you don't want, as your mind will always find a way to create what you focus on the most.
Choose joy, compassion,kindness, forgiveness. Every morning when you wake up run through your mind all of the things that you are grateful for in your life. Calm the mental chatter and be amazed at the miracle of your existence.
Love, light and smiles!


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