Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Fear: Talking to girls. What can I do?

Hey..

I'm a beginner in the seduction zone, and have a big fear of approaching girls. Just the thought about going over and talk to a girl scares me.. Don't feel good about doing it. It feels like something you just don't do if you see beautiful girl. You just don't go over and talk to her..

I have a few years ago tried in the disco at nights (a few nights) to go over to a girl and ask her to dance. Almost everyone rejected me, and it felt so hart. I was very wounded when I came home from that. I think I took it very personally.. But I now that I'm good looking, so it can not be that problem..

But now it seems like I'm scared just to say hi to any girl in a disco and something like that. Just stands there with my drink or beer and looking at all these nice chicks. Ok, if a chick approach me, then I try to push myself talking to her, but I never manage that.

I have tried Speed Seduction course, but that don't help me with that problem, with my fear. I have tried the Palo Alto from Speed Seduction, but I can't get it to work. There you can imagine something, and then the fear will be gone. But I can not get it to work. I'm still scared.. I have tried the equalizer from Ross Jeffries in a whole month. Heard it everyday, but still I don't dare to talk to any women. I have tried the MLF da Babe from Extreme mind, but that has also not helped me. Has also read David D'Angelo, also not helped me...

I'm really really frustrated right now, that I can't go over to talk to any woman, and want to really really doing it.. Just to learn going over to any woman and having a conversation is my goal.. All that ross jeffries "lines to say" etc. can wait. It's my ability to go over and just have a normal nice conversation is my goal. Never to be afraid going over and talk to a beautiful woman..

And I want to work this problem out with help on this forum. And on this forum. Here must be some good tools that can Help me. I have a lot of paraliminals, Natural Brilliance and Resiliency. I have used the paraliminals a little, but not much. Maybe I should use them a little more??

What would work?

Any good help suggestions on what to help me with this, and which paraliminal I should start with? Or with anything else..
And please, let the suggestions be helpful ones...

And things like "wait wait, and the right one will show herself in your life" is not what I'm looking for. I really really want to overcome that fear..

To have something that makes me take the action..

Kim.

Do you have trouble speaking with guys? Just chatting with others, strangers to you?

If you don't ask yourself what are you thinking differently when you see a girl and what you usually say to guys? Hi, the music's loud, gee the drinks are expensive? That's a cool band? Girls talk about that stuff too. If you're expecting to get more out of a chat you need to face up to conversations that get no where except perhaps discover what girls like to talk about. Handy tools.

One girl, one rejection isn't something to lose heart over. If just said get lost at the first thing you said to her... well not exactly a nice person and not someone most people would like as a friend. People are worth getting to know based on their reaction to you. If you say hi, what do you think of the band and they say something to the effect of telling you to take a hike. Then you've just eliminated one person in a crowded room that isn't going to make a great friend in the long run.

When the Paraliminals become available again I suggest you look at Anxiety Free and Sales Leap. Anxiety free will help you with the fear you have of approaching someone for a chat. Sales Leap will give you the confidents to say the right thing to get confeversations going.

Mean while. Ask yourself what really is the difference with just talking to a guy or a gal?

Alex

[This message has been edited by Alex K. Viefhaus (edited August 11, 2004).]

Hello NokPhill,

If I were you I would get out their in the field and take dancing lessons. Go to lessons where you don't need a partner. Where they use a rotation system so you get to dance with every girl in the place. One of the things that many girls like the most is a man that can dance. Just feel the fear and do it. You will get over it quickly. You will tread on toes at first, but you may find many of the girls will just go out of their way to help you. Then when you start to get good your confidence will just go through the roof, you will become a goto person that will be good for your charisma so the girls will come to you for instruction and will virtually never reject you if you ask any of them to practise. Try starting with ceroc dancing. It is popular and you can dance that style to most modern music. And you get to hold the girls, spin them, dip them and all sorts of other wonderful things that they tend to like. Your social life could improve too. You can listen to tapes and CD's all day and all night and they might help but you have to get out their in the field. So give it a go and see what happens.

Hi

As you state yourself, it's the fear that's stopping you. I would recommend that you try EFT to reduce/get rid of the fear. Go to: www.emofree.com

Love and light

John

Hi NokPhil
I don't seem to want to seem harsh, but you do have to work at this. Some of the information that you have is excellent. But you have to work it, the courses are not a 'talisman' that do it for you.
To overcome initial fears try practising by maintaining eye contact with female staff in shop,offices etc;. Don't go into a conversation with the attitude of wanting something from the woman. Aim at making them feel good, try to leave them with a smile on their face

Good Luck

Nick

NokPhill

I am almost certain that you have mental block there which can be identified and
removed quickly and it does not cost much.

I suggest to read this website and email Dr.
Mace. He can help you with a phone session.

Cheers, http://members.iinet.net.au/~identiks/index.htm

[This message has been edited by Frodo02 (edited August 27, 2004).]

The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz for a good explanation of the ease at which we can drop the false programming we have adopted.

[This message has been edited by SteveBCA (edited April 28, 2006).]

Kim,

Maybe my thoughts will add something to already fine posts.

I'm the process of defining what kind of relationship I want with a lady.

What are your feelings around seduction?

What is your intention? What are your feelings around your intention?

How would you feel if a girl seduce you only to get what she wanted and your needs weren't met?

On what would it take for you to take action, I see you already doing that. So what would it take for you to take your next step? When you are ready, you will take it.

I currently experiencing exactly what I created to experience with the ladies.

Best
Richard

Heh, you're in the same boat as me; well, where I was not long ago.. Here's what I did: First, start out simple. When you've got a chance, go out to the mall, a busy street, a department store, etc. anywhere where there'll be lots of women of your type AND is NOT a bar/club/party. Seek out any women you're interested in, preferably ones that are alone and especially not with another man and open to her by saying any of the following:

- "Hi."
- "Do you have the time?"
- "Do you know how to get to ______?"
- (Or make your own opener of this nature.)

Keep doing this until you feel comfortable approaching. You may need to approach 10, 25, 100, or more to be comfortable; don't set any limits for yourself.

Even after you feel you've gotten comfortable approaching, you can still use this on a couple of women to "warm-up".

That's the extent of the help I can give you. On the seducing part, well, that's the next step and I'm still working on it. I have a few resources that might help you out, please leave an email addr if you're interested.

Hi Kim,

The first thing that I see here is that you are focused on "seduction." The word itself has some negatives attached to it. First off, when you "seduce" someone to do something, you are working on manipulating them into something that they may not want to do. If you have high morals, this just won't work. Check out the definition of the word seduction -

\Se*duc*tion\, n. [L. seduction: cf. F. s['e]duction. See Seduce.] 1. The act of seducing; enticement to wrong doing; specifically, the offense of inducing a woman to consent to unlawful sexual intercourse, by enticements which overcome her scruples; the wrong or crime of persuading a woman to surrender her chastity.

Some of the people that you have listed as reading can and will help you, and they DO NOT advocate seduction, but do advocate personal change.

Work on the inner game is very important here. Like anything that you learn, there will be some who pick up the skills quickly, and others who take a little longer. First, don't beat yourself up because you do not have the ability to walk up to a beautiful woman and five minutes later have her name and phone number. . . but you CAN learn these skills and the confidence that goes along with it.

One of the posts stated that you should start slowly, with "Hi," a great place to start. Try going to places where women work, like a mall, walk into a store and just say "Hi" to the clerk. She is being paid to be nice, so your personal risk is small, and the reward for doing so is that you can come face to face with your fear, and survive anyway. If she engages you in conversation, all the better, use it as a learning experience, and the next time will be easier.

Will you screw up a few times. . .Sure, but we all do, so you are not alone.

Quote:
"It feels like something you just don't do if you see beautiful girl. You just don't go over and talk to her.."

This statement is really holding you back. I, and many guys I know do this all the time, and don't think anything about it. . .why? Were we born this way? In my case no, I had to learn it, but it turned into a lot of fun.

Here is a frame of mind for you when you want to talk to a woman. "I just want to make her smile." If you make this your frame instead of "How do I seduce her?", talking suddenly becomes easier, because the pressure is off.

Also, talk to all women. Young, old, ugly, beautiful . . . don't single out just a select group to talk to, talk to them all. Skill is skill, and you only get it by practice, patience and the occasional so called failure.

Sorry this is so long, but this is a personal favorite area of mine and I could go on and on . .Hope it helps. . .

Dan