Lets be brutally frank when you do the Inquiry Process and say it like it is. It's probably something like
"I am really ticked off, annoyed, angry, frustrated, etc.. Remember you're doing an Inquiry Process don't be polite because the because you think the finger might point at you, be honest with yourself and with what you are really feeling.
So it might be
"I'm really fustrated because my girlfriend can't make up her mind what she wants!"
"I'm really angry because my g/f (or ex) left me."
I pulled out the inquiry Process that I based this post on.
Like I said I felt no personal qualms with the individual so I just did a brain dump when I filled in the worksheet.
The brain dump.
1.
I am disappointed in H because H promised to help me find work and income but step by step moved away and abandoned me.
2.
I want H to follow through and keep the promise to help me.
(to keep it brief I'll stop here and show how I handled the questions)
To question one... reading what I wrote... asked the first of the four Inquiry questions. Nah I did it as a brain dump but there is an element of truth in it. H did progressively move further away making it difficult for H to keep the promise.
To Q1... Reading what I wrote asked the 2nd Inquiry question. No... had already established that it's not absolute.
To Q1... reading what I wrote again.. asked Inquiry question 3... I feel like I'm wasting my time. I know my thoughts wont change anything... disappointed in myself as well as H for having held the expectation in the first place.
To Q1... Read what I wrote and asked Q4 of the Inquiry questions... Me, A-okay, able to get on with it not bogged down by fals expectation.
To Q1... Read what I wrote and do the turn around... (for this I did 3 or 4 turn arounds) The one that seemed okay for me was I'm okay with the fact that H promised to ....
Then I did those 5 steps with question 2 same way.
One of the other turn arounds later with the another question on the worksheet was... I should be honest with myself and not abandon me. Since in the turn around we ask ourself is this true... It means I have to think about the statment... well yeah it's true because if I'm hanging around waiting for H to keep the promise I'm not being proactive and in effect abandoning myself. Iprobably wasn't all that honest with myself because I thought I didn't have an issue with H moving interstate and yet I opted to do an Inquiry Process because H name kept coming up in my mind and I thought the move was kind of mad especially the implication that I should also move.
The key to the Inquiry Process is write down the answers to all the questions first.. Don't change them as a result of the turn around or realisations from the previous answers. They are a group and when you unfold them as a group you go deeper within yourself to realise what your 'expectations' of them where and what your 'expectations' of yourself really are.
Alex