Maybe you don't need to change anything about yourself at all?
I can understand your fears, I think we've all have them to some extent and in some way or another.
There are some times when I am very brave and outgoing, and other times when I just clam up and want to die.
You might find at the end of all these problems that you didn't really need to change anything about yourself at all. You'll come to accept and feel comfortable and at home inside yourself and things will be a lot easier for you.
Don't feel bad about being shy. For some people, shyness is very attractive. Personally, I have always been more curious about the shy people around me than the outgoing ones. There's so much you can learn about a shy person. And when a shy person accepts you as a friend and feels comfort around you, you know you've earned it and it's a really valuable, intimate connection.
I think that because shy people keep themselves hidden, to an extent, there is something that happens in that secret inner garden where parts of the soul ripen ... and when you find out what the person has been hiding all along you realize that its a very interesting treasure.
I know that shy chicks turn me on, so ... there are probably people around you who are very curious about you, but maybe they don't want to seem intrusive, or take a lack of responsiveness as a lack of interest?
Other people are often just as scared as you in their own ways. Take it easy on yourself, and if you can stand it, be a little more adventurous and take a few more risks.
Look at the people around you and notice what they are afraid of, notice how they take risks and how they decide when not to try. You'll find that you're more like the people around you than you think.
