Regarding the Bandler issue, in the opinion of my first NLP trainer he did it or helped do it. He told our class not to put people on pedestals and that we can use the skills without being like those who develop them if they are not good role-models.
IMO that applies to more than just NLP. I have a few videos of martial arts instructors who are very skilled but from my own experience and the experience of others I know these two guys are real jerks with almost cult-leader like attitudes. That doesn't mean the skills they teach are not valid and that I won't use the videos to train with. It does mean I won't train with them in person or recommend them to anyone else.
Like in anything, take what is useful and discard the rest.
