I was close to suicide three times, and felt extreme depression. I said no pills. Write down everything in your life that you want in the most clear cut simplistic way, "from your Heart", not anyone else or based on any formula out "there". And let go of needing it. The universe will take care of it. Realize that the sum total of what's got you into the depression in the first place is beyond logic and unexplainable and that your way out of the depression is also unexplainable and beyond logic. Your mind is a fluid vast infinte insturment with vague "ins" and "outs" and side to sides. Let it go, feel your feelings in your body as a nonjudgemental witness, realize that all life happens "now" and never any other time. This way you get out of the way of yourself(not freezing emotions in place by labeling them, putting walls in the flow of them, or trying to reconstruct the illusion we call the "past", and the illusion we call the "future".) and your feelings and energy within those feelings can flow naturally through your body. All the hurts and pain you have do not exist truely, they instead store themselves in your body in various places which are energy blocks, and typically manifest physically as tensions in the body as well. The pain dissappears the more you surrender to nonjugementally feeling in your body. This isn't a method, it is "living", the way your body naturally intended. This has a nice reflex effect on EVERYTHING else in life as well. It's not time really, it's willingness, that far far supasses time. Drop the formula of what you "think" you should do because chances are it will coming from some contorted opinion of someone or an organzation that deep down doesn't even know what's best for themselves let alone you. These depressions are the courageous times when we have to be completely honest with ourselves and make the simple choice whether we'll continue to walk on egg shells for others or truely live from our heart, which does best for others and ourselves. When you start to feel take a look at your list again and know that if any of that is going to be it will not be from any amount of over-examination or logical picking and prying. The universe takes care of the details, and details really aren't important. Everything I will mention points to the same place ultimately and goes by the same logic surpassing rules of life that the ancients and all religions at their core hold true, some people live this way without knowing it. The funny thing is once you do, you won't even realize it either, it's a funny paradox, just life. Check out "Working on yourself doesn't work".
www.emotrance.com(the self help protocol, the rest can be confusing) Learn how to do deep circular breathing, focusing on your breath anytime you notice shallow breathing, or fragmeted breath. This helps with feeling(with emotrance too) and feeling spontaneous in your being and body. Any book by Jiddu Krishnamurti is very insightful for practical in your face advice. Sedona method is great, however I feel that most people go into it with the attitude of "taking action", and they all fall flat on their ass with that approach to it. If you do Sedona you HAVE to have the attitude of no expectations and wanting freedom more than you want explanations as to "why" you feel a certain way. At the very root of Sedona they say ALL your problems come from wanting approval, control, and security from others or set ways of looking at life. If you knocked those three out you wouldn't need Sedona. Also get Natural Brilliace if you can and simply make your goal in the course to have NB in every single aspect in your life. You will be roaring with joy. But like my Jujitsu instructor told us one time in class "do it right! do it wrong! but do something!" Everything else takes care of itself. And you know it's true that it's either life or death, that simple. We can surrender to the flow and live happily with infinte choices and joy, or we can try to run around and fit some "formula" and take years off our life from all the stress that it takes to do so. You and everyone around you is better off when you surrender and drop the formula. There is so much strength in that. Peace to you my friend.
Shane RMT
