Everyone loves Ramon...until they meet me...
Then they love me EVEN MORE! To the point where I have to ask them to stop...but they can't, and they start singing that "I Can't Stop Loving You" song. Then I cave in. But by that point, they're so tired of having tried to convince me to let them love me, that they don't want anything to do with me.
Then I get needy, because, to be frank, having their love kept me at a complacency level, and without that love, I go below complacent, and thus, sad. Chocolates and dozens of roses read down my credit card summary as long as the Mahabarata, but to no avail. Then I weep, and leave it at that. But then they find my attempt to spark a new companionship quirky, and love me anew.
But as they realize this, I am boarding a plane to Kalamazoo, Michigan. Via a montage of intercut "racing to the airport" scenes, parking their car in a no parking zone (to the chagrin of a befuddled and frustrated parking attendant), they catch me as I'm about to board my plane, throw their arms around the back of my neck, and we smooch as has never smooched before. The scene closes with a catchy one-liner, bearing a likeness to, "You...complete...me..." Cue the Frank Sinatra music and start the credits.
All this, all the jazz, all that and a bag of chips, I owe to my rock hard abs; abs I have sculpted with my zero-resistance/zero-assitance old school ab wheel.
To thwart evil doers, however, I hide my abs behind a cushioned layer of flab, which are purposefully so dense that not even Superman (nor Bizarro Superman) can see my gentle innards.
And even if they could, they would be unable to harm me, for I, Ramon, am loved by ALL!
That is, all but Reading Genius the Pirate, ar...(had to keep this on topic somehow).
-Ramon http://razor.ramon.com
