Kaiden: i'm glad that you failed and decided that suicide wasnt for you. id consider that a success if i did that. what absurd purpose did you fashion from that? what was the meaning of life that you found out there?

i love burritos!

it would be damn near impossible for anyone to resist a free girl-bought burrito. and even if you could, would you want to? a great burrito from an ugly girl is still a great burrito. especially at night. (im thinking of a pizza/sex analogy, unnecessarily. its not applicable).

if anyone is looking for reassurance from life, go to el palmar in chicago (irving park/sheffield). they sell it in steak burrito form for $4. ask for extra red sauce. its open 24-hours from what i recall.

strange, but i had a history session with myself today. there were no wars or great depressions that i found needing mending, though.

school is possible, but out-of-state tuition is out of my financial state. does anyoen know of an inexpensive/good out-of-state tuition school (that doesnt seem like good grammer)? the university of washington use to have a nice loophole, but that was cemented in, starting in fall, '03.

id like to be a doctor, and an engineer, and a lawyer, but i dont have the brain for it. thats so much frustration right there.

the irony of it is: i dont want to be a doctor/engineer/lawyer. i hate math, science, and the law, but im ****ed off that i couldnt do it even if i wanted to. its the same way with girls. i usually like the ones who are deeply involved, which means im not screwed, but i am, i.e. im buying my own burritos. (definite pizza, or in this case burrito, analogy here)

stupid way to think/act.

astro: you feel as though you did great on the GED! if you go to usc, that will be amazing. get involved in alot of clubs, play alot of sports, go to alot of parties.

oh yeah, read a little, too.

as far as laziness goes, im an expert on that. laziness kicks my ass when: a.) i dont see any reason in doing something, ie there's little hope that ill get what i want because someone will say no, or wont be home, or .. whatever b.) when i think the job will be too hard and not worth the reward.

how do i overcome that? well, usually i dont.

on the rare occasions that i do, this is the most important thing: ACTION. dont think. just do. whenever i dont think about what might happen/could happen/wont happen, i get done what i need to (mail this out, apply for this job, do this assignment, tell this girl her do-rag is unsettling, etc).

i am going to do this _____ today. and then do it. as soon as i think about all the details, im playing hockey, or video games, or sleeping.

i read "the sorrows of young werther" a few days ago. add that to the list. a few things i felt: 1. did i write this? is this my mind and not werther's/goethe's 2. will my life end the same way?

[This message has been edited by ploppsdman (edited January 25, 2003).]