alex thanks,
I am out of my rhythm for a month like a very specific routine.i am not able to sleep good ,and i used to work out an hr not doing that ,and have this energy that is just stagnating ,it wants to get out and i thinks it has to get out in a good way.
about self punishment, it is hurting me ,i need to decide and stop it, for a moment it feeels good but later it gives sick feeling ,just like smoking for me in past.
i need to slowly get my self of this i need make aschedule when i get up what i do and why,i need document my time,i need to pray daily,i need get back my balance,a sense of well being,i am going to work hard to not let thing of lower nature take control over me,i want to be good ,optimistic ,energized ,up,confident,some how i think i am caught up in this negative loop and it is going down and down , i want to empower my life for better purpose .this bloody script Iam living is taking me to darkness ,i swear to god I will have to break this cold turkey
/what am i doing and why
