quote:
Originally posted by AlexK:
Hey it sounds to me like you're shouldering this relationship on your own..

That's sure what it feels like, but it may not be true. I have a lot of issues myself, and count as a major investment. Hell, I own more self help tapes than most women are likely to see outside of a bookstore. (Yes, I know the forum regulars probably have more than me, but we both know most people aren't unto "all that."

Problem is that we had certain rules, and they changed. When our relationship first started, it was "open," but I choose monogamy right away because I was fulfilled. I thought she choose the same thing, but she really chose monadry. I'm the only guy for her. Now, if I go and ask her to change the rules, **** happens.

I guess my problem is I skipped a "step" somewhere. I had assumed that part of engagement, with our without ring, is an exclusive sexual commitment. She thought that we had already discussed this, and that I was OK with it.

Actually, we HAD discussed it, and I told her that a person is a person, and her having sex with a woman was no different to me than her having sex with a man. But, I also told her I'd rather she have the experiance than regret not having it.

I honestly thought one-and-done.

But no...

And I guess I ought to believe her when she says it's not that I'm not good enough.

And it's all her EGO. She wants to be "outside the box," and that's why she's doing it. You see, "inside the box" is the "bi chick" stereotype. They're round, overweight, and usually have low self-esteem. They write poetry. They have long, naturally curly hair. They don't use makup, and they look better without it anyway. They dress like gypsies, and they usually think they are. They're into the occult, usually some variant of Wicca. This is the stereotype - but I like it because that is the sort of body and personality I look for in a female.

And it doesn't feel weird to know that my fiancee is attracted to other women, any more than it hurts to nkow she's attracted to other men. We are humans, we have attractions.

But, why am I not "enough?"