Kaiden, you said that this lady was/is the love of your life. Reading through this thread, I've noticed how one-sided the relationship quickly became because of a lack of effective communication. You said you believed that she would want monogamy too because you wanted it. Isn't it true that that was what you HOPED for? My guess is that you didn't discuss the matter with her----probably due to fear that she might leave if you shared your real feelings.

I am convinced that this relationship is NOT a healthy one for you.It's WAY too onesided and turning it around would be next to impossible (NOT IMPOSSIBLE mind you but damn difficult) under the best of circumstances.

You said that you told her you loved her and then ran out of the room. What was all THAT about? Was it that scary to tell her you loved her? What kind of message do you think THAT sent her? That you have WUSS written all over your forehead? If you're going to say something that important, stand up and say it like a man looking DEEP into her eyes!

I know I'm being tough with you but I don't want to see you continually getting hurt! You've got some learning to do regarding attraction (of women) and MAINTAINING that attraction.

My best suggestion to you and this is going to be a bitter pill for you (but I suggest you take it anyways) is this: get OUT of the relationship COMPLETELY! Start looking for and developing 10 (at least 10) replacements for her! As you get better and better at attracting desirable women, her presence (in your mind) will dwindle and weaken! I know this is all harsh sounding for a man as sensitive as yourself but Kaiden, your sensitivity as wonderful as it is in so many other areas of your life, is NOT working for you here. It's been working AGAINST you! A woman can love you VERY deeply and STILL lose her attraction for you! Her attraction for you is created and destroyed by YOUR actions! Again, tough medicine and I wish if was not so but experience over many years has shown me otherwise!

When you're on your path to finding and attracting those 10+ replacements, you might want to find some men who SUCCESSFULLY attract and maintain attraction with the women of their choice and then.... model them! It might take a bit of time to find them but you can and if you care about this area of your life...you will!

Use that incredible brain of yours to build up this area of your life but FIRST, get out of this relationship! Oh btw, it's a longshot but leaving the relationship is SOMETIMES all that's necessary to jolt the other party into reality and back INTO the relationship. If by chance that should happen, just make sure it's YOU who sets YOUR rules this time and that it's YOU who enforces YOUR rules! Your self-resect demands no less!

Good Luck Friend,
Mike