Hi Bluebird,
You bring up a good point.
Allow me add something else, and be a parent here a bit. Blackbox, I have two daughters about your age. They are soon graduating from undergrad school, and are planning to go further. They have spent four or five years so far, basically without money. Alot of birthday's and holidays have passed where they haven't been in a position, to really spend money on gifts. One daughter has always had an open heart, and given what she can through creating her own cards or handmade things. The other is open now, but for a number of years didn't have the want to give anything.
As a parent, one of the best things I got from the daughter that wouldn't make an effort to even make a card, was the satisfaction of seeing her change, and one day giving me something she made. My relief and happiness at seeing her generousity come forward was an incredible gift to me. She moved past the issues of adolesence, and realized she had a good life, family, and wanted to say thankyou, and I love you.
That is worth more than any amount of money she could have spent. When I as a parent, get something from my children that shows me they love me, and that they are growing up to be considerate and loving people, my heart melts, and I get a gift of experience that money can't buy. Perhaps, if you haven't expressed the feelings and perspective you now have about yourself with your family, you have not yet tapped the ultimate gift you can give them, and it doesn't cost a cent. Putting some meaningful time into making a simple card, and giving them that message , is an incredible gift to receive. You are coming to a good place in your self awareness. Be careful with the credit card. Going forward, think of things you can do within your means. Give them gift certificates involving things you will do for them, little jobs, etc... Don't think money and things. Give them back some love and thanks. Let them see you are a mature and loving person, and they will know that you will be ok, and they did well raising you.
love,
gallen