This sounds like a meditation related issue, and there I have some experience.

Did you ever consider your consciousness of the monkey chatter as a form of real progress? Many people do not even realize that this stuff is going on inside of them. Once you become conscious of it, you become conscious of a source of suffering that's been there the whole time, running along with you unawares.

And here is something you may not have known: experiencing stillness is no small feat. That is the big one that people meditate a very long time trying to accomplish.

Your desire for results is probably creating a great amount of the energy that is fueling the monkey chatter. That is, the desire to have progress is stirring up the monkeys.

Here is where paradox occurs. Your desire and efforts for progress are the very things that keep you from progress. The answer is counter-intuitive. Stop trying to progress. Let go of your need for the stillness. When you let go and stop caring so much, it'll come to you.

Try this:

Take a completely passive approach. Instead of trying to make progress, simply observe with no real goals except to be mindful of what is happening. Allow your thoughts and feelings to come and go.

It's like the sky. Imagine that stillness is always there, like the blue of the sky is always there. You are in the universe and the universe is in you. This is a fact. I mean, you're made of stardust for Pete's sake. Intend for the universe and you to merge together. Just intend. There doesn't have to be an orgasmic fanfare of enlightenment.

Your thoughts and feelings (monkey chatter) are like the clouds in the sky. They come, they go. Hey, that one looks like a dragon eating a snow cone. Weird. Let it pass. Sooner or later, the sky will clear and you'll think, "Hey! I'm not thinking any thoughts!" Whoops. There's a cloud (the thought that you're not thinking any thoughts). That's ok. The sky is for clouds as much as it is for blue. So, just let it go.

You'll notice that once you start a-thinkin' after stillness, there's a bunch of other thoughts, too. Don't lust for progress. Well, if you do, just observe that. Another cloud. Just let go and observe. Stillness will come again.

This struggle you've shared with us sounds to me like the crux of your problems. Once you relax and let go of your attachments, your back pain might mysteriously subside for no apparent reason.

Good luck.

[This message has been edited by babayada (edited October 28, 2004).]