Hi,
And thanks for responses. I had difficulties in answering in the responses, as I have let you both know.
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Now I know more.
The thing goes even deeper.
*I have given and will give the control over my whole life to anyone who might want to take it.*
I have found some internal representations that hold some of the control.
Of course I understant that the internal representations are made by me and can be controlled by me, but right now I am just finding these things out. The structure of the belief seems amazing. How much I'm trying to change me, I cannot change these underlying things unless I take them as a part of the whole.
These things seem to manifest themselves as if I did not feel any love, or could not give any love (see for example the thread Giving love in the SFQ forum.). BUT. Love is only a side issue in my case as I have said before. It may be difficult to understand for anyone else, but everyone has their own way in self-development. I have mine.
I read yesterday my first writings of the Boudless renewal course (2/2006). The writings concerned things like "What would it be like to be me? What is me? When can I be a whole human being? I seem to be only haf a human being. Two halves. etc." Now I'm pondering the same questions with more emphasis on existence. Did a couple of reflection exercises also. Interesting to see what will happen.
[He].2s2.2p4
p.s. Grant and Alex, you may now understand why I had difficulties to answer you. If I was on the edge of finding out this belief, I was very sensitive of it. You both qualify as an "anyone" in my belief. I was trying to do exactly what you suggested. Also there was the unconscious want _not_ to obey. Thus I was not able to act.
