What ever works for you...
I came up with a linking story for the anchorman list while driving today. I couldn't sleep tonite, so I typed it up. It's ridiculous, but I don't think I will forget the list (or the numebrs of the alphabet) after writing it...
News anchor Tom Brokaw and Bugs Bunny set up a tent in a campground on a North Carolina mountain. "I love camping." Brokaw said as they finished. He took a deep breath to enjoy the fresh air. Just then, a dromedary camel and an African elephant walked up to the tent.
"What's up, Doc?” Bugs said. Brokaw stared at the four on the camel's hump and the five hanging from the elephant’s trunk.
"We are looking for my flute,” the elephant said.
"Okay, I'll bite. What does it look like?” Bugs asked.
“It is silver, and has six holes in it." the dromedary responded.
"Where did you last use it?" Brokaw asked in a deep baritone as he took out a digital voice recorder.
"The garden of Eden, about seven days ago." the elephant responded. “But, I know I packed it when we left. I remember playing it on the ride home. Everyone knows elephants have a great memory.”
Brokaw raised his eyes. Suddenly, Mr. Peanut came flying through the campground on a pair of roller blades.
"Whoa!" the rolling peanut screamed as he crashed into the tent. Bugs and Brokaw helped Mr. Peanut stand up. "Thank You." Mr. Peanut said. Mr. Peanut tipped his hat. Bugs and Brokaw noticed a blue eight on top of the hat. "Please call me Cliff." Mr. Peanut requested.
"Cliff?” Brokaw responded.
"Cliff 'Mr. Peanut' Claven, at your service." Mr. Peanut responded. "I was once a mailman in Boston. Route eight for 20 years. I retired and became an actor. I played an Indian called "Nine Feathers" for a while in a series on UPN. After that got cancelled, I moved on to playing a Japanese scientist on a show called "Ten Years". I couldn't quite pull off the accent, so now I am a dancing peanut with a top hat."
"Wow!” Bugs exclaimed. "You must have range, Mr. Peanut. I mean, uh, Cliff.”
“Acting is much more interesting than reading, I mean, delivering people’s mail. I learned a thing or two playing a scientist. Do you know how many kilometers are in a mile? Did you know that the number eleven...”
"Anyway," the elephant interrupted loudly. "We were looking for my flute."
"Did you look in that tree?" Cliff asked as he adjusted his hat. Everyone turned to see a tall pine tree with a twelve rung aluminum ladder leaning against it.
"That's strange." the elephant responded. They all walked towards the tree. "Cliff 'Mr. Peanut' Claven looked at the elephant and the dromedary and realized neither were going to be climbing the ladder.
"How bout I take a look for ya?" Cliff asked. The elephant and dromedary nodded. Mr. Peanut removed his hat, kissed the eight, then handed it to Bugs.
"Will you hold this for a moment please?” he asked Bugs.
"Sure, Doc." Bugs responded. Cliff removed his roller blades, then began climbing the twelve rung ladder. "What a maroon!" Bugs whispered.
"I heard that." Cliff called down. Bugs rolled his eyes.
"Do you see my flute?" the elephant yelled up to the climbing peanut.
"No, but I do see something interesting." Cliff answered.
"What do you see?" Brokaw interjected.
"Well, there is a big screen TV up here on a branch. I think it is on channel thirteen. Looks like a military movie just started. I think it’s the Dirty Dozen! I love Lee Marvin!' Cliff yelled.
Brokaw grunted. The elephant trumpeted its trunk in disgust. "Look for my flute!" the elephant groaned.
"Whoa!" Cliff yelled again.
"What happened?" the dromedary asked.
"Looks like the channel changed to fourteen. I think it is Japanese Noh Theater. I had to watch this to prepare to play the scientist. Character loved it. I thought Noh Theater meant no theaters at first.”
The elephant trumpeted again, then began to walk away.
“Holy Cow!” Cliff screamed.
“What’s up?" Bugs asked. Everyone looked at him and waited for the inevitable “Doc”. The D formed on his lips, but he stopped when he saw the stares. Bugs began to whistle and look at his watch.
Cliff saved Bugs from further embarrassment. “I think the pachyderm has a magic trunk. Every time he blows his horn, the channel changes. Now the Olympics are on channel fifteen.”
Everyone looked at the elephant.
“What?” he asked. “ I am not changing the channel with my trunk. I just want to find my flute. My grandpa gave it to me.”
“Try it again.” Brokaw insisted.
“You guys are nuttier than the roller blading peanut.” the elephant responded.
“A sixteen year old German couple just won the pairs figure skating Gold medal!” Cliff called down. “They were on a quest to win the Gold for the girl’s dying grandmother. She has been fighting cancer for seventeen years. I think I am going to cry.” Cliff said softly.
“Well, maybe not nuttier than the peanut.” the elephant laughed.
“Come on, try it.” the camel asked.
“Okay, okay”. The elephant blasted his trunk again.
“Well, Cliff? Brokaw asked.
“Just call him the electronic elephant. Now it is on channel 18. Looks like a RV infomercial. Wow, that thing is huge. They just crammed nineteen college students in there.”
“There is no way my trunk is changing the channel on a tv in a tree in the middle of no where.” the elephant yelled.
“Yeah, that’s almost as crazy as a animated rabbit, news anchor, camel, and elephant listening to a peanut describe what’s on television.” the camel replied.
They all looked at each other and laughed.
“Okay.” the elephant responded. “If it happens again, I will believe it.” The elephant blew his trunk again.
“A twenty year old is serving match point in a tennis tournament. Looks like Boca.” Cliff yelled.
"I am never going to find that flute." the elephant said, then trumpeted again.
“It’s a spelling bee! They are on the 21st round. Who knows how to spell 'Unpunctual'?” Cliff asked.
The elephant frowned, then blew again.
“An estate auction. Good grief!! Someone just paid $22,000 for the ugliest vase I have ever seen!”
Everyone looked at the elephant. “This is crazy.” he pleaded.
“Some idiot just bought a sculpture of the scales of justice weighing a two on one side and a three on the other.” Cliff yelled again. ‘You will not believe this. Some one made a xylophone with 24 keys out of a model yacht. Twenty five thousand is the first bid!! Who goes to these things?”
“Please change the channel before I climb the tree and strangle that damn dancing peanut.” Brokaw yelled.
The elephant blasted again.
“This is some kind of crazy cable. Now there is a zeppelin race on channel twenty six.”
The elephant rolled his eyes. “Wonder if I can turn the peanut off?” He blew his trunk again.
“Hey, it’s CNN. Looks like some scientist has discovered the location of the Garden of Eden. Wow. It’s beautiful! That’s strange. They discovered a six holed flute laying next to a big pile of leaves.”
Everyone looked at the elephant. “I guess your elephant memory isn’t what is used to be.” the camel said. “Well, we better be going. We have a long trip ahead of us.”
The elephant and camel said good bye to Bugs and Brokaw. “Will you thank Cliff for us and tell him good bye?” the elephant asked.
“Sure. Leave us here with the big mouth, crazy peanut!” Bugs laughed. “Have a safe trip.”
“Hey, they are drawing the lotto numbers. 13-5-13-15-19-25 . Holy Cow!! I just won the lottery!!!! I am outta here” Cliff yelled.
“Thank goodness. I think we all just won one kind of lottery.” Brokaw quipped as he turned of his digital recorder.
‘
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[This message has been edited by MetaGator (edited March 08, 2004).]
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