Hi,
I would suggest that you allow yourself to emerse deeper within the practice. It is certainly good to discern whether or not something is helping you. That said, too much analysis, or coming into the practice with fixed expectations, or constantly looking for results from a questioning standpoint, doubts, etc., all tend to be a lot of extra mental activity that is not beneficial.
When you are in a qigong exercise or meditation, you are given a focus. Focus is huge. You give the mind something to do that benefits you, as opposed to what normally goes on in our thinking. If you monitored your thoughts over the course of a day, you would find that you get lost in thought, and spend much time recalling past experience, or concerns about possible futures. We don't spend much time in the present, or using our mind to facilitate what we want to manifest in our lives. Any qualified qigong teacher of any valid qigong system, will teach that the mind moves the energy. This is one cornerstone to a qigong practice. Reflect on that. The mind moves the energy.
So, you have this practice of one hour a day. Focus, is not a fixed level of accomplishment. There are degrees of focus, and as you accomplish greater focus, results come from that. So back to this hour a day and applying a degree of focus to qigong.
Aside from sleep time, just looking at the other 14 or 15 hrs a day, your mind is much less directed, randomly focused on things, and often engaged with negatives. One doesn't have to take on all that other than focus time, and replace it with exercise 15 hrs a day. It does help to immerse more in each session and increase the quality of the time spent, relative to leaving the mind out of it, as completely as possible, other than employing it with the given focus. This is a challenge, but also part of the work or exercise that is transformative. Revisiting a qigong focused practice, more than once in a day, is helpful, as it helps make you more aware of that state of focus, versus non focus random thinking. How you feel, how you respond to how you feel with subsequent thinking is worth looking at.
Within your practice experience you mention uncomfortable thoughts that arise. One of the gems of wisdom that Master Lin has shared, is pointing out that self healing can come with discomfort or pain. Also, experiencing some discomfort from a particular exercise, outside of common sense considerations, is that exercise or particular focus, touching the blockage, effecting the blockage. So as Gabby mentioned, rising uncomfortable thoughts is not a bad thing. You could say that you are observing the blockage in a way or seeing that energy, or that extra energy that you want to release. The normal thing that happens, is that people "react" to their own feelings. You don't like it, so your react to it, and go to thinking about not liking it, or whatever.. As these uncomfortable thoughts come up, respond to them with the smile. This is transformative technique/powerful technique, not some namby pamby sweet fake smile. It is a smile turned inward to the heart. You allow the feelings, you are human, and we have these feelings. It is okay to have them. Reaction to these feelings sort of stops them up, or crams them back in, or continues to hold them. Respond to them with self compassion. Allow the feeling to come out or up, smile inwards to your heart, or respond that way. The smile turned inward, if expressed correctly, really transforms the feelings that come up. Again, this is a focus employed in response to something, or a focus/alignment you want to be there for the duration of your session. It is also a technique you can employ as you leave the session and go about your day. Qigong, gives you the tools to transform energy. Everything is energy. Your moments of uncomfortable thoughts are energy. Transform them as opposed to reacting to them. Allow them and melt them with a compassionate loving response from you to you. Some Taoist practioners just use this smile/inner smile as there only meditation, or focus. It is a very transformative element that often gets overlooked. When observing people doing qigong, it seems to be one of the pieces that can easily drop away, or doesn't really get put in place, to start with. As far as depression goes, fully employing this inner smile is an important piece. Don't think, don't analyze, smile inward.
Shakurav also brings up very important basics. Focus, as well as the message or signals. Changing the message is also an inner response, qigong techinque, that is transformative. If you are experiencing a negative, change the message. This can be within the practice, or approaching the practice, or any time during the day. There is a huge difference in the energy of entering your practice questioning its effectiveness, or reinforcing it. In simple terms it is the power of positive thinking. If you are going to think, think positive. Again, it is good to connect the dots between this, and the fact that the mind moves the energy.
The good, better, best measure of practice is a positive way to view any level of engagement with SFQ. It is a cup half full way of looking at it. My experience has been that two hours is a good "best" benchmark. We are taught that it takes 28 minutes for qi to make a complete cycle. Taoists referring to this as a season. Four seasons make a complete year. I have found much value in this measure. A half hour has a good reference to a level of completion. Two hours has a very good reference to a level of completion. At times when I am very focused on my qigong practice, two hrs is not long. Meditation and active exercise, both have something to offer, as well as feeding each other. Personally, if I had a serious blockage, I would spend more than two hrs a day. Not everyone can do this, or has interest in this. Any small positive is of value, a moment or an hour. Good, better, best. If you can see your way to do more, do more. You get back whatever you put in. More is better. Improve the quality of the time that you can spend. Work on your focus within the exercise, as well as the inner smile , as a way to respond to feelings that come up. mOre qigong wisdom. 'Keep the energy moving' by allowing these thoughts to come up. " Transform" the energy with self love, self compassion, forgiveness, the inner smile.
Depression is related to the lung system. This doesn't mean you have a lung blockage. It means that depression wears on that part of you. Obviously, the heart is also important. Doing your exercise in fresh air,,,a stand of pine trees perhaps, the warmth of the sun, opening up to the balanced energy in nature and breathing that in.
I don't know if you are doing level I or II. Learn both. In level II you work in the middle dan tien. It is a different experience to base in the middle dan tien, versus the lower dan tien. Both have their particular benefits.
Keep in mind that qigong is a stellar preventative practice. So many people that are new to qigong, come with their diagnosed issues or blockages, and work from that, as opposed to considering that they are made of more than the existing blockage, and good work is being done relative to the whole of you, regardless of self percieved results directly related to a specific within the whole.
One last important piece I'd like to reinforce is working with spiritual energy. The master's energy. People vary in how they work with this piece, or their comfort level with it. There is universal/physical energy, and spiritual/light energy/qi.
I have never been buried in depression, but I've experienced it, as well as anxiety. I always put out a prayer or communication for help, if I feel it coming. Part of me doesn't want to do anything, but before I let that dominate, I put out the prayer.
I always experienced help come at some point, in response to that, and been fully aware that I left an opening, that helped.
I would feel my spirit strengthen at some point, and that would give me the strength to come out of the funk, or choose to. At that moment, I would also remember the prayer I put out, and experience a beautiful moment of acknowledgement and thanks. The beauty of leaving the opening, and 'something', helping me back. I can't say enough about the spiritual piece.
Look at the whole of your day as it unfolds, and discern what is supporting what you want to manifest, and what isn't.
love, gallen
