I don't know what your "worry" and "negative outcomes" are. Sometimes when you are covered with mud you don't notice it and are wondering where all the dirt is.

If you were focused on this stuff, it is probably on autopilot now.

You ask,"where is all the stuff I want?"

I would have to respond that, what you currently have is what you really wanted and that is what you are getting. Until you make a change in that through releasing or goal writing or modeling someone you want to be like or turning off the autopilot you will continue to get more of the same.

The mind can act like a huge manufacturing plant and it doesn't turn on a dime. Once those wheels are turning it takes a strong
hand to make those changes.