Dear French Claire,
I hear so much of what you are saying about dealing with a declining mother. My sister has been dealing with many of the same issues over the last two and a half years in which she has been being care-taker for our now 88-year-old mother. It has been my opportunity to be one of her sounding boards and supports. Much of what you said in your posts has brought more understanding and clarity to the things I have been sensing in her.
At various times I have spent some time working with the declining elderly both as a Nurse's Aide and as an RN and I find I can see my mother sometimes simply as a frail old lady in need of the same kind of support as many other frail old ladies. Because I know more of where she has come from, perhaps I can offer more individualized support to her than I have to others, though. My sister, however, still sees our mother first as the person she used to be - even as the mother she was in our childhood - and responds on a level that does not bring her effectively into the present relationship.
If I may offer an observation and a suggestion -?
Observation: What a compliment your mother has offered to you that she has turned to you in her need for support in her last days! How she must trust you - presumably from having seen you offer the necessary support to your father in his time of need!
Suggestion - You have been focusing for a while now on 'releasing negativity' relating to your (remembered vs. present) relationship with your mother - and with considerable success. Since we are working with the Law of Attraction, perhaps the next step might be to turn your focus towards 'attracting positivity' with regard to your (current and projected future) relationship with your mother?
From what you have said, I have confidence that you will have a wonderful and successful experience as you manage this stage of both of your lives.
May you create a lovely day!
Margaret Ida
