thanks margaret Ida for your response. i am sharing the common philosophy of effortless. but the problem is that i donot know what are my passion. because the mind start looking for the security and this create a lot of problem and also i am fearing that what if i choose the one and later i found that i do not want it. than what is going to happen. i am not in position to make the mistake and this focus to not to make the mistake taking too much time and preventing me to know my passion and i do not know what to do about it.

you have given the accurate example of family gathering. this involve the work but does not seem to us. we even take the holiday from the office for this occasions. but to know that what is my passion is difficult for me. i do not know what to do about it. can you help me in this matter. i know my life purpose and in four words i can define it and that is abundant and meaningful life. abundant meaning to me is in everything, in relationship i have caring, loving and great people and in financial i have good money, in spiritual i feel to align with the God. in mental it feel good to know that my mind is developed. i have so much to say about it. meaningfullness meaning to me is doing something greater than me. a purpose which is greater than me and my needs and i know in my heart that there is nothing greater than this purpose in this life. i fail or pass does not matter but following the purpose everyday of my life is what matter. i get the feeling that i am using myself for the purpose greater than me and i am having the internal happiness to see that people are benefitted in their life in positive direction and this benefits create the fullfillment feeling i want in my life. i have full one page of what exactly look like a meaningful and abundant life to me but the problem is this that i know the essence i mean i know what kind of feeling i want in my life but what kind of work give me that feeling i do not know. so i know the essence but do know the physical things which bring that feeling to me. if you want i can copy and paste the life purpose in this forum.

so what you suggest me to do the physical thing which bring the essence or feeling i want in my life.

and thanks for the insight for making the decision based on what i want or desire. i have actually have a dream about it and in my dream someone telling me to take the decision on the basis of what i want or desire. and now i am reading these things in this forum.

you are right that tough situation making me to come back to old habits but i do not wanted to do it again. it is now or never situation. and i know that if i accept the old way of thinking and behaving than may not i am come back to this situation again.

bye,

nice guy