thanks French Claire for your response and i am sorry to give you late response. it is because i could not understand your answer deeply and secondly because i am develop the resistance to answer to you. why i do not know but i know that i must give this answer. so i first release the resistance to you and than jump to see your answer. and i find that you not only understand the question deeply but also give the answer in a deep way. now i can understand your answer clearly which i cannot understand in past. and i am appreciate it. because it contain the answer to me. i am really hesitating to decide go for complete different person or act as if that i am ideal person i wanted to be or first clear the clutter than shift my conscious. i make the decision and i find that it is too hard for me. after the initial motivational stage i come to know that i am not making progress but actually i am getting worse. i am literally fighting with myself to be in the positive state and what you called the genius state. whole day and at night upto 3 am i am still fighting with me because i am releasing the negative emotion or talking to myself on the spot but now the storm has been less charged. i also find that when i just live in the present moment than i am feeling very good inside and feeling very content. but when i switch to thinking about the future than i start having worry and other negative things. because i am already decided to be positive so i prefer to live in the present moment and when i found that i am not able to do the simple task because i am already engaged in making myself positive work. because i know that this is the initial stages where the resistance is so high that i am not able to complete my daily simple chores. but this decision make me feel mad that i am not even completing simple chores but now i am feeling good because now i notice that i am feeling adventure in it. i am saying to myself wow! what a experiment i am doing. i am making a life based on meaning and abundance while i am not have even a money to pay me regular bills. there is fear and also adventure in my stomach. i am feeling the sensation of both at the same time in me. and thanks for the advice you have given me i am going to apply it in my daily life and than i will respond to you.
thanks for giving the insight that i have to live in the genius zone. i never read the book so i assume it means that i do my best in the present moment. and if the best is not enough than i do not beat myself. beause i did my best. and i am start doing the best in the present moment and that is i am going to do right now. i will tell you about it. but one thing is sure that this is great difficult for me and but also very motivating and effortless for me because i am not going to beat myself if i found that what i done is nothing. but i know inside that i am doing my best in daily life. i think you understand that what i am saying.
