Actually, from observation as a minister's daughter who got to see a lot of what's functional and what's not in relationships,as well as someone who's celebrated her 20th wedding anniversary, I'd say that the average of functional relationships is somewhat higher than 5%.
I'd also say that, while folks in functional relationships have a higher chance of knowing what makes a relationship good, that's not always the case
And both of these statements are true for the same reason-
The range of what's functional is a lot wider than most people think it is....
There's not one perfect template for a relationship that truly works
A person who comes from a family that yells when emotional is a rough fit with someone who comes from a family that doesn't raise their voices, but partnering with another yeller, this may work just fine.
The yeller and the quiet one can have a good relationship but they're going to have to realize that they speak different emotional languages; and then be willing and able to form a new mutual emotional language, rather than insist on "my way or the high way"
The problem is that many folks aren't ready to do that kind of work...
Furthermore, even if the yeller's in a functional relationship, his advice may not work for what a quiet relationship needs
I'd say more that Feng Shi can fit in here by creating an environment that energetically supports our ability to hear, understand and work with each other
Hope that's helpful
Fgodmom
