Hi Fgodmom:
The 5% of relationships that are considered functional is a fact of research, not the result of someones thinking. Hopefully, your relationship has been a good one for your 20 years of marriage, however, I would not use that as criteria for a functional or even a happy relationship. People stay married for many reasons. It does not take a rocket scientist to realize that given the current rate of divorce, that God is surely the worst of all match makers. Careful of a limiting belief here. What one may think is a good functional, healthy relationship, could be completely blown out of the water with a future relationship.
The only reason people need to work at a relationship is because they don't want to move on in life. It was a bad choice from the beginning. From personal experience, the best relationships I have had, has required no work, they have just been allowed to happen. Best friends for sure. I thought the example you gave was a terrible one, unless, of course, one likes living in hell. Being in touch with and trusting in one's feelings can produce great benefits in life.
