Hi Waterbird,
I read your post and understand your confusion about willing a feeling state versus surrendering to experience that state.
I have found there is a huge difference when I intend (or will) a feeling state and when that state naturally occurs from being surrendered to the present moment.
For me, intention is like "fake it 'til you make it". For me, all of Jeddah's teachings are like an athlete doing mental rehearsal for a big game. And I am not practicing to play the game of life... but to enjoy it!
I find that the more I practice, the more states of joy spontaneously occur without as much "trying". So willingness may be the intention to practice what joy feels like.
For me, higher feeling states are difficult simply because I am not familiar with them do to years of restrictive thought.
