Ok Bob this might not be what your looking for, yet, as i read your post i just had to reply, i am not as old as you, 32 well almost anyway, yet i have had some really really painful times in my life, and i to have felt so lost so many times, that i thought about giving up, yet, the one thing that woke me up from my dazzzzz, was this little idea, now its a secret well it was till i posted it upon LSC. go in to the bathroom and look in the mirror and look at your self in the eyes. and ask your self this question.... "what do i want with the rest of my life?" keep looking at your self in the eyes and ask again what to i really really want with my life.... now ask your self with all this time i have spent doing what i have done upon till now, what have i learnt? what can i do with all this learnig that i have already? and what would happen if i just stopped looking ...... at what i didn't have..... and looked at what i have....... now what would happen if you went to bed, and woke up with a new idea about not looking for the answers, or anything else, and just doing what you can do in this given moment.. right now.... i fonud that i have spent over £10.0000 in over ten years. on books tape etc, etc, and what i learnt most from all this, is knowing its, taking responceabilty, for ones own life, emotional well being and knowing that, if we meaning you and I and everyone else. take just a little time, and stop and look at where we are, right now, we can then say well this does not look, sound or feel right, so i have to try this, this and this, so i know how things are feeling good, looking right, and sounding just how there should.
then look in the mirror from time to time and ask your self what do i want, what do i have, what might i need, and is what i am doing getting me, all of the things that i am asking for..
Bob stop looking, you have what you have, do your best, stand tall, know that your right to be happy, strog and anything else is already with you.. Bob just for today when you look in the mirror smile, and say something like this, using a strog voice, I never quit. go for a walk.. the answers you are looking for you already know them...
"beauty is a heart beat in a thunder storm"
