Don't give up. You're on the verge of 'something else' here. Something you'll definitely want to work with or at least get a 'handle on' before you make the decision to give up.
Suggestion: Do the Active Exercises in the morning, and try the Meditations at night. Exercises will get you charged up for the day, and the Meditations will help you unwind at night.
Much of "what you get out of something" comes from intention. Ask yourself, 'what do I want out of this?'
My suggestion would be to this...when doing the meditations, or the active exercises. (you can even try it while reading this to get an idea of it's purpose)
Accept and recognize your situation.
Understand that you have no need to prove anything to anyone--including yourself, or "get rid of" any condition or state, and you respect yourself as you are NOW.
Make an intention for yourself, such as:
"I choose to recognize my Divine Spirit, and connect with the Divine energy of ALL." (that about covers everything, you could also ask your Master; God, Spirit, Jesus, Bhudda, and 'physical' masters to assist you in your recognition)
Focus on the Dantien.
Say the password...while doing so, feel your energy connection to all that's around you. In your physical location, and the area or city you are currently in. Just FEEL the energy. Sense the 'state' or feel of the area you are in.
Sidenote: You can do this in a quiet state, or even when your thoughts are 'jabbering away' (though when practicing, we choose to go into "the quiet", and then come back to the 'world') This isn't that difficult, if you can feel your own body and it's state, then you can easily expand to feel 'outside' of yourself. Just 'do it' and not worry of the mechanics of it.
Now (while still focusing on the dantien--as well as what's around you) expand your awareness to the state or providence, then to the country, let it gently expand to the Planet--just FEEL Earth (and don't worry about what comes up, just allow yourself to FEEL)
Now, gently feel the Sun, Moon, and all the Planets in the solar system (you can add other things like comets and asteroids later, but don't complicate a simple procedure, just DO) now expand to feel the Galaxy and the Galactic Core...while focusing your 'thinking mind' on the dantien and expanding your 'feeling awareness' further and further until you encompass the Universe (hundreds of billions of Galaxies)...
Gently blend your energy with the VAST state of Being. You feel so joyful and grateful that you are joined. Send a "Thank you so much" feeling to -Everything- (it will multiply and return)
Take a moment or so and realize...that because you are AWARE of that state, that the Universe is IN your Mind, and hence your body (just like in the Password)
Now, focus on your dantien shining very bright (but never losing energy, because you are connected to everything here) as you make it bright, and visualize the Universe resonates and responds and also makes "Itself" bright, now there is no 'difference' between 'you' and the 'Universe' you feel your body become transparent and you 'Both' become One with the Emptiness.
^ From here on, practice your meditation/exercise and maintain the mental focus on the Shining Dantien, and the exercise. Later on, you can just "say the Password" by recalling the feeling by having the intention the Join.
I hope this viewpoint helps, understand that the visual aid posted here, is just one possible application of energy, in an Infinite Sea of possibilities. Don't forget the basic concepts that are common knowledge but many times over-looked:
Everything is Energy.
Energy is countless in number of possible states.
Energy is capable of resonating with intention.
Energy is an application of Knowledge.
Knowledge is an application of Source/Spirit/God.
God is ONE, for "Who Creates Mastery with Flawless Perfection" is Joined with ALL.
Are you starting to (humbly--but not too humble) realize Your Potential?
-Just here to help.
~Z
