Uniquesoul,

A natural law of the mind, that will affect both of you positively in your relationship if you use it, is that what you focus on grows. If you focus on something, some aspect, some kind of relating that you both want it could grow into something bigger. Find, if you can, one aspect that does work for both of you then enlarge it by focusing on it. Something is working between the two of you, otherwise you wouldn't be trying. Focus on what is working, do more of it, find more ways to do more of it. There are certain things you want that she isn't ready for, and there are certain things she wants that you aren't willing to give. But when she finds that you can be trusted because she sees your commitment, she might be willing to commit more. Commitment comes in layers when you have been hurt in the past. You have to be there long enough for her to release the hurt and trust again. You can enjoy what works for you currently.

Vita-man captured this law of the mind by his statement:

"I also think that spending time appreciating what you do have with her, without excpectation of more, just gratitude for what is, will lead to greater happiness for both of you. How wonderful to feel love for the other people in your life!"

The all-or-nothing strategy isn't going to work her because she's not ready for all. You have to start from what you appreciate and grow her trust in you.

The ideal paraliminal for activating the law I mentioned in your life is Prosperity. It gets you to focus on what is already good, it helps your mind find pathways that were always there but you couldn't see because you didn't have the will or belief to make it work.

If I were you I would make the session go something like this:

Area: Relationship with ______________

Ideal desire: To increase what does work for both of us in the relationship until she is ready to commit to the relationship as much as I desire.

You can also do both sessions of the New Option Generator to create new workable choices in the relationship.

[This message has been edited by Grant (edited May 24, 2005).]