I have had a similar sort of experience.
I used to have problems with anxiety. They did not manifest themselves as full blown anxiety attacks with the breathing, increased heart rate, etc. Rather it was a more pervasive and lasting form of prolonged anxiety that almost totally sapped the joy out of life for me. During this period I was really paranoid and judgmental of myself.
I won't go into the details, but it got to the point where I literally could not remember a moment in the day when I did not feel incredibly anxious and worthless.
The cure was me realizing in a moment that I was starting to go nuts. My life was filled with anxiety and the anxiety was steadily increasing. My life, at this point, almost didn't seem worth it. I realized that in order to fight the anxiety I had to literally fight for my life by, instead of focusing on the fear and fighting it, focusing all I could on what made life enjoyable and worthwhile no matter how small.
If I could remember a joke that made people laugh, or a particularly good meal, or whatever, that is what I focused upon. I practiced this for a while and eventually I got my life back. 
In your case, though paraliminals played a part, it sounds like your figuring and thinking about things were the operative elements in creating the change for you. That is, the figuring and then the dedication to follow through with your discoveries.
So, I sorta understand, and congratulations to you on your various victories.
[This message has been edited by babayada (edited September 21, 2004).]
